So last month the Hype was Fucking Bird Flu. I know that is rude but under King George we have had one scare after another , Anthrax , Smallpox , MonkeyPox, What next? DustbunnyFlu?
And we are suposed to stock up on Tuna and Dried Milk. And by the way, What the hell mandates that we stock up on these?
( are the cows going to get Bird Flu from the birds? I know that is too logical of me...)
So here is my solution I will go out and get a really large cat to protect my place and keep the Birds at Bay....
( and yeah, the guy on the phone is either a Homeland Security Worker or with NSA- doing phone work of course, either way Tinkerbell the Kitty is Hungry so...ce la vie...Bon Appetite..)
46 comments:
A really large cat, you say? I'm all up for a Liger. How bout you? I could think of few politicians I wouldn't mind putting in a cage with a Liger.
Tina: Oh a Liger- now that is a great idea....yeah let's throw a few more "leaders" on the grill for the kitty...
A big cat! Hmmm, the biggest domestic cat I've ever seen was a "Maine Coon Cat". Must have weighed 30-lbs. Feet like small snow shoes. Beautiful fellow. No good for harming politicians (tina), but a natural bird killer. Not that I condone hunting Tweety, but predator & prey are only natural. If only the europeans hadn't harbored such an irrational religious fear that housecats were the devil's familiars, perhaps they could have weathered The Black Plague a little easier (fewer rats & their fleas). The ancient egyptians recognized their value & venerated felines as guardians of the graneries, which staved off mass starvation in lean years. I just love all the little cat mummies in egyptology; to me, they mean a beloved family pet was given the same chance as their human companions for an afterlife. So ... yeah, forget all that bird flu hype (brought to you by the same fearmongerers who've been hyping 911 to justify every dismantlement of our constitution) ... get a big old housecat & let him/her loose! D.K.
e4e, good to see you back. I hope all is well. Topic-wise, like we used to say back in the day: "I'm from Jersey..."
Good to see you back, E-woman! Thought I'd stop by for a 'spresso shooter...
Having in my own lifetime watched this country survive the various scourges such as the Hong Kong flu, the swine flu, Legionniars' disease, the threats of ebola, mad cow, and SARS, I have to admit I'm a bit underwhelmed with distress about the coming Chicken Little Flu.
Not that I don't believe that there are some nasty bugs to be dealt with down the road; I just simply think they will most likely come out of the blue, without the advance hand wringing, and probably be ignored as the threat they truly are. Case in point? Acquired Immune Deficency Disorder. And God help us all if the first patients to come to the attention of the authorities aren't church-going WASPs. Next time it might not just be Africa decimated.
As for the government being prepared? All Bush has really done so far is give us the same answer he has for every other challenge facing the country.
You're on your own.
Oh, well. At least we all have several cases of toilet paper and twenty cans of baked beans left over from the Millineum Bug.
Salud!
Good post Enigma. I miss the way you point out the absurdities of these things. I want to use my tuna cans to throw at certain people. Not very peace like.
That idea came from the tuna and milk lobby.
While I like your pussy solution E4E, I think the W,Rove and co have moved on to immiration - that's the latest fear to push. Any guess as to what is next?
Good post!
As you know, the U.S. doesn't have enough medicine to immunize everybody, so as an alternative: government issue cats. I'm picturing long lines of people waiting to get their cat.
Your post makes clear the devastating effects of the bird flu. As the photograph illustrates, the bird flu causes the birds to go mad and attack humans. The picture was taken shortly after a flock of sparrows attacked a group of motorists, causing them to lose control of their vehicles and crash.
The canned food is recommended because people will be advised to stay in their houses. A curfew will be imposed.
Who knew Hitchcock's film would prove to be so prophetic? The flu-infected birds are unpredictable and likely to attack anytime, anywhere. No one will be safe from the bloodthirsty avian monsters!
nice one ... anything to stop the avian bioterrorists ... awesome photo ...
Well, I am ahead of the friggin game then..I have seven fucking cats, one of which is bigger than one of my dogs..so I am safe right?
Dusty- well,well Cherry Chertoff might be congrating you on a Heckuva Job...( hmm bigger than the dog eh? been feeding it Buicks right ?)
KVATCH: you are one smart frog..and that Stephen at Orwell's grave- yup- really good points...more fearmongering - just different mong.
RORY: thanks...Mr6-6 is my art director- he chooses the art- I just mentioned I would like a REALLY big cat for this one...voila.
Gugon: great comment- and yeah, who knew that Hitchcocks film would be so inspiring....( love that movie)..the canned Tuna cracked my son up- he was the one that said if must be for our large cats- see how this started...Yup Long Cat lines- except we won't see Dusty there...
Pinkfem: Tuna and milk lobby- of course- that makes all kind of sense.
Windspike: Wow- who know what is next- shipping our quaker grannies off to Gitmo ? ( oops that means I should start packing...)
That Jezebel: Heave away friend- hope you bean one of those lobbyists's right on the head...help them think..
(hmm,yet another non Buddhist thought falls out of my head)
MEL: yup- agree with all that you say- on-ur-plan is all we got thanks to this asshole administration- so yes- I got beans, batteries, and duct tape- I can MacGuyver through any situation....any....Meet you in the Bunker Friend ( if I don't end up in Gitmo first)
Still Lucky- good to see you...and hmm, Jersey eh? bet they have some good sized Kitties...right?
Thank for all for coming by...You are the best..coffee on the house...
Nothing smells better than fresh brewed!
But now I must confess...even though I live in Seattle, I don't drink that much coffee. And if I have a cup at home, it's usually Folger's Instant.
I feel dirty.
But confession does clean the soul! Wish somebody in the guv'mint or the media would confess that immigration and bird flu threaten us much less than global warming and the coming hurricane season. Oh, well. If we have the Guard on the border, at least they'd be closer to the Gulf of Mexico than they'd be sitting in Iraq.
Bird flu has never made it to my radar. Too many other actual things to fear.
Hey E4E - did you read about the grandmothers that went to the Time Square Army Recruiters and tried to enlist? They were arrested...not sent to Gitmo, but hey, they made an excellent point.
Windspike: yup- we need more grannies out there - Brave Grannies...( and you know what I mean about Gitmo...that all of us peace folk are "terra-aiders"....
POP: yup...bird flu..swine flu- head-up-their-ass flu.
ME: ah, yeah, about the Guard- LA> guard were not in NOLA last year cause they were already crunching sand over in Iraq- then they came home to find their homes GONE...yup...I would love to think our Guard are still here for this country- but we all know that is a problem , right?
MAY 22ND, TUESDAY
ENIGMA OFF FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS - TONIGHT GOTTA WATCH THE FINALE OF 24- AND ROOT FOR JACK BAUER TO KICK A LITTLE ASS...BE BACK TO POST NEW ONE IN TWO DAYS...
Dustbunny Flu??? Oh God No!!! Maybe I can call the NSA (or vice versa?) to debug and liposuction my entire environs.
Did you hear King George's response when asked if he would see Al Gore's film about global warming? Bush dryly replied, "Doubt it."
Think BushCo will hop to and protect us from a pandemic? Doubt it...
hahaha, I had to read the comments and re-read the post before I thought to remove my glasses and lean in for a closer look at the picture...here, kitty, kitty, kitty!...the only graphic image missing from the picture is a pile of mangled bodies or left-over inedibles that those who own cats will sometimes find on their doorstep or on the kitchen floor...
as DK has pointed out above, cats are often vilified as senseless killers who contribute to the demise of the songbirds in our back yards, but their contributions are a drop in the bucket compared to habitat destruction and much more in keeping with the natural order of things...as i tell my felines, "those who live by tooth and claw will die by tooth and claw, there's things out there that eat cats"...natural selection is on display in their actions, it is the unwary bird or rodent that falls victim to their predations...
too bad "social darwinism" is a myth...the earth will continue to produce pandemics and killer diseases until we elevate our consciousness to the point where humanity the world over stops trying to kill the planet in the name of progress...
Enigma,
I have missed coming here, life becomes so hectic some times. Life poses some challenges and we must deal with them. But through all that inner peace needs to found again. I feel that when I come here.
This woman is hurting, but I am glad that she has posted about where she finds some peace.
I know a word from you would cheer her up.
Windspike -- the Grannies need their own TV Movie; I've been laughing and cheering about their victory since the judge got the last word.
And for once, a made-for-television movie worth watching!!!
CruelAnimal -- good one; who knew Shrub could actually manage to be so sophisticated as to offer a dry comment? And as for his plan for the Chicken Little Flu? Same as it ever was -- 'you're on your own.'
Maineac -- My mom had an argument with the outdoor cats she had back in the 90's (one dumped on her by one of my sibs, one dumped simply on the side of the road). She went out on the deck one morning to put the catfood out before she left for work, and found a dead redbird (pronounced card-nal in AR). If that wasn't upsetting enough, the next morning she hadn't even made it to the back door when she heard a ruckus outside, and discovered Russell (the cat one of her kids had stuck her with) with the FEMALE redbird in his dang mouth. My mother is a gentle woman, but I wouldn't want to describe the scene further, except to say there was a broom involved, and a frustrated declaration: I'm not feeding you today! You've already had enough to eat.
By the time she told me about it later that day, she was still angry; and I had to say, "Mama, I love redbirds myself, but killing birds is kind of a cat thing to do." We do still laugh about it today.
The moral, of course, is the animals will all act as they are intended to, as they are naturally inclined to. The only reason redbirds are becoming harder to find in Arkansas is only because of humans mucking up their habitat.
I've heard it said, and I don't like to be a misanthrope, but sometimes I do think we humans are a virus with shoes.
All that those of us who do realize that can do is keep trying to convince the rest it's always a bad idea to treat our only home planet as a dumpster.
yeah, meldonna, your story illustrates the difficulties of dealing with the feline killer instinct, espcially when they grab something as beautiful as a redbird (aside, how come cats can't seem to kill pigeons or starlings? there's plenty of 'em around in the cities and suburbs and both are non-native, nuisance birds, introduced by humans, "viruses with shoes", indeed!)...mine get the same serious reprimand treatment whenever I catch them with a bird (rarely) or a loudly spoken "NO HUNTING!" and a thrown pebble or acorn when I catch them stalking around the bird feeders...that has the side effect of scaring away the intended prey as well...so they seem to content themselves with rodents...one cat is too old to hunt now and one cat never learned to kill, she mainly brings 'em in alive and thinks it's great fun to let 'em go and then "help" me try to catch and release...the third cat is the killer, but she spent the first few years of her life as a stray and had to kill to eat...I try to keep her belly full...
You're right, we have had one scare after another under King George. No wonder I feel so exhausted and worn out. I miss the Clinton years.
There's relief on the way...even the Repugs are realizing the Emperor is buck-nekkid. Finally.
Reagan brought us voodoo economics; these clowns have nothing to offer except fear itself. Kind of nice seeing that fear chicken coming home to roost! Because I gaurantee you they're shaking in their custom-made ostrich boots at 1400 Pennsylvania.
Yee, ha.
Custom made Ostrich boots! ha! That's a good one... How did they get the cat to do that?
A horrible, horrible tragedy struck Florida, as the avian flu hit a trailer park. Go to my place to see the carnage.
Hey enigma,lol,dustbunny flu. Now wait it must be something to instill fear in the people, I would think maybe terra flu. You must have fear instilled to control them, I heard Dracula flu showed up in Romania today, I stocking up on garlic.
Hey, Pork! THAT'S a good one...
I encourage all who need a laugh to check out the "carnage" link. It's a pip.
Reminds me of a local flap back down in Austin, Texas back in the mid-nineties. Seems there was a little old plant and garden shop out on Hwy 360 who put a few lawn ornaments down by the corner of the huge lawn that was on the intersection of their business. Well, they had so many folks stop by that the display spread, until there was a good acre or so covered in the classic plastic pink flamingos, thousands of 'em, on the hillside. Hilarious.
Now you have to know there's always a few old soreheads; in this case, they were some of the humorless nuevo rich inhabitating the wonderful 'burb of Westlake Hills, which Hwy 360 runs through and past. So you know there was a big flap (no pun intended), lawsuits were filed, the local news outlets had a field day, and in the end? When all was said and done, the naysayers lost out to the flamingos, and for all I know they are there at the corner of Bee Caves Road and 360 to this day. I wish I had another chance to get back there in March or April; Pink goes so good with Bluebonnets!
Thanks again for the laugh, JP; the best vaccine yet for the Chicken Little Flu.
enigma: hi.
Just feeding the cat!
Cheers. Are you well?
I did a piece on bird flu a while back. We were discussing in Micro bio last semester that there are strong possibilities that it wont even mutate to be human to human transmisable. But be afraid, be very afriad...Bo0o0o0o0o00!!!
I do think that there will be more emerging diseases, but as far as bird flu specifically? I tend to believe the next epidemic will come from a wholly unexpected realm. Pandemics are indeed no laughing matter, but fearmongering is not the answer; only another tactic of the DC Palace.
But if you got the Dinty Moore, I'll bring the Ranch-Style Beans!
Oh, hell, we had cases of Bird Flu in poultry here in Belgium and it didn't bother me. I don't go around kissing strange chickens, after all.
meldonna, I'll pass on the Dinty Moore (after once barfing some of that through my nose, I'd rather eat play-doh). But Ranch-Style Beans, check & double check! My disaster pantry also includes Campbell's vegetarian vegetable soup, bottled water, canned peaches, saltines & champagne ... guess that's my end-times partay! D.K.
Hey, DK:
One of this Angla mujere's proudest skills I learned in Tejas was how to make my own flour tortillas from scratch; so add flour, baking powder, shortening, and a wheel of hard cheddar to your bunker, and I'll bring the cervezas and the picante sauce.
Bean and cheese tacos and beer? Hmmm. The only problem I forsee is a serious need for ventillation.
Buenos noches!
urmph, meldonna! the idea is to keep the pandemonium bird-blues OUT of the bunker, so ventilation will be limited. How about those little painter's dust masks? I still have a case from when we lived in Spokane & Mt St Helen blew her top! Hey if those space shuttle guys can stand each other's exhalations for MONTHS, a few weeks should be easy. Wouldn't wannabe the guys standing just outside as that bunker door creaks open, though. (bean'n'cheese burritos are my fave) -- D.K.
Two words - Media Panic
Fear sells newspapers
DK; All we have to do is figure out how to use the bean methane to run the electric generator, and it's a self sustaining system!
Does anybody else remember some scenes from Road Warrior? All I'm saying is if you've ever let a fart that made you get out of your own bed...that's called energy.
ps I'm so sorry enigma...we usually keep the conversation to a higher level...
meldonna, how about one that literally jacknifed a person bodily out of bed & blew the curtains open in the afterdraught? would we be talking super nova power? just wondering, not for myself, but on behalf of someone else who has, um, witnessed these events. uh oh, sorry, i don't think this was much "higher level" conversation. D.K.
well, well I see that DK and Mel have kept the coffee brewing and late night chatter flowing...new post today folks.... ( e4e here....Blogger is giving me kitty fits)
Man, and Ann Coulter has the nerve to call ANYONE a harpie.
We're wondering if Dutch Oven jokes are cool?
Molly Ivins says (from Texas), us progresessives don't win very often; might as well have fun anyway.
Hey..how bout this:
I challenge Ann Coutler to a cage match rassling.
I think I'm about the same age as her. But SOMEBODY seriously needs to open up a can.
Anybody out there can arrange it, I'll step right up and take the skank down. RAW, NWO, whatever. Shit. Ain't like she's Tonya Harding. An old artheritic hack like me will step up on this skinny spinster.
But I'm not bitter...
hey, mel, I'm not usually a TV watcher, but George Carlin and Ann Coulter will be Jay's guests on "The Tonight Show" tonight (Wednesday, 6/14)...the potential for a verbal takedown of "the skank" is definitely there!
Okay e4e... The cat has had enough web-time...:>)
I must say ur blog is definately a well written one. I agree with ya. George is doing a bang up job ain't he. He says he wants whats good for the people yet I don't see the people even having a choice in any of his decisions. He's full of crap like every other politician. Keep up the good work. Oh and you sound alot like another woman I know. She too claims to be a woman without a country. Static Brain You and her are on the right path. Stop by and check her out sometime. And I'll check out that link u told me too. Have a good day and God Bless.
Sweet one for now : I thank you for your kind words and also for sending me over to Static Brain- truth be told there are quite a few of us Lost Women now.....thanks to George and his cronies....
Poetry Man- you are right time to get back to writing...bad on me for being so tied up these past few weeks...
And to those that are bashing Annie C....bless you - Bring on that Match...I am ready...
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