GIFTS FROM IRAQ :ROAD KILL AND THE WALKING WOUNDED

NEED MORE REASONS TO VOTE ?

[ THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY POSTED NOVEMBER 2005, AND IRAQ IS WORSE THAN EVER, MORE THAN 600,000 DEAD IRAQIS, AND 2800 US TROOPS, AND 103 IN OCTOBER ALONE. 98,000 are now being treated for PTSD- up over 20,000. More than 41,000 have been treated for wounds, how many have been sent back into this botched battlezone is unclear.There are between 128,000 US troops-140,000 in Iraq,and suposedly there are over 450,000 Iraqi soldiers yet the Country is disintegrating into Chaos at best and Civil War at worst. And we don't have enough National Guard to protect Our Own Country and or the crumbling situation in Afganistan.]

WE NEED A BETTER DEMOCRACY, AND REGIME CHANGE in the United States.

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We have seen alot of the King giving speeches and posing coquetteishly for the Camera these past few weeks, always with the Militarized Backdrop in full effect. ( I don't think I have ever seen him pose with any wounded yet- atleast not recently).
And as more die and are wounded, and more Real Veterans demand a Timetable, and to bring the troops home, there are some issues that have been left unacknowledged. I am talking about the Gifts of War- this War, the Walking Wounded and the Road Kill that are invisible to the King.

This post covers several issues: Homeless Vets, PTSD, and Medical Care for our Reservists. It is about the Abandonment of these issues and people, and the hidden heartache that stretches across Our Country . Again it is indeed a longer post and told as a true story, about the real people that are effected. So it is dedicated to Jarrad and Robert and Iris, my neighbors, just three of my Homeless neighbors, and dedicated to what they have silently Endured. And Robert's story is shared below. I think he would want people to know that sometimes things are not as they appear, and that No One should be Invisible in America . I saw King George's Delusional Speech Today , yet another pissed petulent tirade, and I listened to him pontificate His Victory Plans and Schemes . I don't think he knows about the VETS, and I know he doesn't know Robert and the 74,000 PTSD Sufferers, and the Ticket to Hell he has given them. This is Robert's Story, his Reality.

( links will be posted with Part II of this tale , and this is Part I in a series))

BENCH PEOPLE AND GRATE PEOPLE

I live in Cleveland, but I have a suspicion that this scene is not so unfamiliar and might indeed be happening in towns and cities across the country. We live Urban, I moved here 6 monthes ago, and my son wanted Urban, edgy, "Real". He wanted a converted Urban Loft. He is 14 ,he is 6feet4in, he is Black Hightops, cargo pants and Rolling Stones and Green Day infusing on his iPod, idealistic teenage angst pulsing through the apartment. He lives and breathes John Stewart, Michael Moore and Al Fanken. We had been living out West, and he wanted a Change. He got It. I have wanted him to see All Sides of America, our America. Not just the Feel-Good-Post-Card Version.

Suposedly 10,000 people actually live in our downtown region, in the heart of the downtown. I have my doubts, it seems like less than that . Suposedly 3000 of downtown residents are homeless. ( And the Homeless medical clinic has a patient load of 600-800, so the numbers actually might be accurate. I will keep researching it ). I would see them as I walk the dog and go in search of better coffee than I can make. But statistically I view the Homeless as my neighbors, because they are. I carry extra gum and change. And in the summer I delivered iced water ,cold drinks and cheese sandwiches , and bandaids and cool wipes. And if I had extra change I would give them enough for a $2.99 Egg meal at the Johnnies Diner on my Street. And I know the Gyro Guy gives out meals- he appears to be a gruff hairy Serbian fellow that never smiles, but he has a heart. And the Homeless I see on a regular basis I have learned their names, and heard their Stories. It was the least I could do. They all have stories, illness, lost homes, and mostly Lost Jobs. And sometimes they let me take their pictures. ( One day I will post the photos). First their Stories.

On errands to the library or the small little market I pass blocks and blocks of vacant buidings. Buildings built between 1900-1930, most have beautiful architecture, dignified lines and graceful curves, Art Deco with a Slavic Flair. You can look at them and imagine that they were once bustling with offices and business. Now the windows are hollow like an old lover's empty eyes, it is a permeable grief palpable at each bustop. In the heat of the summer the Homeless found benches to rest on. During the day behind the churches benches are staked out like prime beach front property, but it seems to be a hospitable process. And at night the Homeless gather in packs ( for safety) and hide from the police. And I can't understand why those lonely empty buildings could not somehow be used to provide shelter for some of my neighbors?

Now it is Winter, and we have had some bitter nights and cold that makes your bones ache. In the Winter at dusk as the temperatures drop the Homeless look for Steamy Grates to lay on. They carefully arrange mats and blankets and use their bags as pillows. They wrap their feet in plastic and baggies to keep warm,and some wear socks on their hands as mittens. And during the election the Mayoral Candiate made sure they were removed, "relocated", so as to not clutter up the walkways near her Campaign Center. They are picked up in Vans and taken to the other side of town, away from familiar services and safety. And yes, there are not enough shelters and it is a System that is beyond repair, because it gets so little spotlight. The Campaigning focused on issues for the pearled and well healed, not the patched and blighted.

And from listening to many of the Stories as I walked my dog 4 times a day. I have learned the Circumstances that had contributed to their Homelessness. Many of the Public think they must be drug addicts or drunk, and that is mostly urban myth. Some have wrestled with substance abuse, and some are in need of medical care and mental health care. And a large number are Vets, of varying ages and service, and a shocking number are from the Gulf Wars- BOTH of them. Within the first few monthes here I had met three back from Iraq with different stories and damage. It was compelling and it was disturbing.

ROBERT: BACK FROM IRAQ
Robert was one of the first vets I met, and it was a challenge because if it was up to him we would never have met. Except for he was intriqued by my dog. I have a sweet little rescued honey colored hearing impaired Barkless Basenji. Her first few monthes here she was rattled by Big Buses and loud city noises. But the little park across the Street became her park,"Lilly's Park" and not shared with too many other dogs. She has a way of trotting up to people and sniffing quietly like a little fox. It can be endearing , but it can also be annoying.

Robert used to sleep over on a Bench over by the Law School at the University ,part of "Lilly's Park".. The first time I met him it was because Lilly went up and quietly and gently sniffed his head. He jumped awake and I apologized. He didn't smile, he would not make eye contact with me. Yet he did look at Lilly and patted her just once very cautiously on the head. His eyes were sad, haunted like an old man. His face was well lined and his hands gnarled like bark of an old tree. He turned away quickly and went back to sleep. And I walked away quietly. I would see him but quietly give him his space, it seemed like he needed quiet. And over time Lilly kept wanting to see him. So over time she would go to visit him and I would not talk, I would just let him pet her.

One day a Truck was backing into the parking garage, while she was visiting him on his bench. And KABANG!!!, the truck backfired. Some students near by lunching laughed. But Robert slammed to the ground and covered his head. I asked
"Iraq ?" He nodded with etched pain" in his eyes, like he had stepped on glass. And slowly he went to get up. I offered him my hand. 'Robert "he said. The eyes were looking down again. I knew he was embarrassed.
" Those godammned trucks" I said and let him pet Lilly. I knew that he had PTSD and that he needed help, but that trust was fragile and if I offered unsolicited help or talked too much he would move on to another bench. I decided that in the long run Lilly was what he really needed more than chatter from a nosy nurse. I knew that it was a silence worth nurturing, to help him heal.

Over time I learned Robert's Story, piece by piece. He was in his late twenties, he signed up for the Reserves after 9-11.
He spoke with a Southern drawl, he was from the South- "Roots in Alabama and Louisiana, got family there".
Parts of his story didn't make sense, pieces were fuzzy, and I think it was for him as well. He had signed up and been sent to Iraq , in the beginning. He explained that when he signed he never thought that he would go Anywhere, he thought that he would helping at home, protecting his family and friends. ( I wonder how many share this tale). He said first folks were sent off to Afganistan and he was relieved not to go there. And then monthes later he found out he was going to Iraq. And he went. He was a driver, and I am not sure What exactly happened, some sort of shootout and an accident, that he could not discuss with his eyes clouding over. He hit his head and left him with some damage. Yet that didn't get him sent home. He was there until end of May 2003. I was unclear what brought him home and he would not discuss. He did tell me he had the Nerve Disorder. I said the PTSD. And he said it was awful dreams while waking, and unprovoked flashbacks. He is one of the Walking Wounded, and as he said, " Hell, I'm just glad not to be one of the Road Kill".

He would twitch while talking. I don't even think he knew he was twitching. He knew he wasn't "right". "Can't hold a job, can't think straight". I asked him if he was getting help- for the PTSD. And he looked at me and laughed bitterly . " You'all don't know nothin". And I told him he was dead right- I did not know enough. He said that Medical care is given for only two years and that's it. ( I really thought that didn't sound Right). And the only "care" I could offer was egg sandwichs and Lilly's unfaltering attention. He said the care that was "Offered" was a joke, "Re-Exposure Therapy" and schizophrenia meds, all of which he claimed left him even more injured, more damaged.

In September I saw him, Katrina had happened. He said that he wanted to get Home. He didn't care anymore if they knew he was sick. " Can't hide it forever, maybe after all of this it won't matter I ain't right".
He wanted to get home and help his uncles the Shrimpers. I gave him Greyhound bus money. And I prayed for his sake that he could go there and help his family, find some Meaning again. I also prayed that no more devastating Hurricanes would hit down there. (And yes, i worried about him when Rita hit the Gulf). I never saw him again. I walk by his bench and Lilly still looks for him.
I hope he is in a Better Place. I hope he made it Home.

PTSD FACTS:
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is what was known in WWI as Battle fatigue. Currently it is our Military's Biggest Dirty Little Secret. I am sure Rummy would rather change his underwear in front of the Press Corp than discuss how Big a problem this really is. I understand that each War has it's own Hells and Wonders. The Korean War gave us MASH units and Vietnam brought Agent Orange. And the First Gulf War gave us the Gulf War Syndrome and the Horrors of Depleted Uranium, and the wonders of Denial. Yet all wars and Miltary action can cause PTSD. ( Even Police and Fire , other High Intensity Work can leave nervous system damage.) My Great Uncle Stu had suffered it after WWII , but it was a nameless disorder that was not properly treated and he was suposed to come home go to school and work. ( Story for another day).

AT THIS TIME THE VETERANS AFFAIRS ADMITS TO TREATING 74,000 with PTSD on disability, and most of these are military that are Home now and not in service any longer . Many can not work, and qualifying for Disability benifits has been nightmare of a wrestling match. They come home and their work and relationships ALL suffer, and many end. This is the most that are suffering at one time. Is this number accurate ? Most likely not. Many have been refused care, or put on waiting lists, or should come back down the road for more followup. So the 74,000 might indeed be the tip of a Huge IceBerg of Broken Souls. Robert's Story is just one of thousands, and after researching PTSD on the VA websites, I learned Everything he told me was True, the "Re-Exposure Therapy", and the Meds, and how as a reservist he only gets two years of care.

This is Part I of my Vet Series, the next part will have links on more hard data, and also will have the other half of the story,
and if the Medical Care is bundering and inadequate , but the Housing part of the Story is just as mindbending. And sadly, ironically, the next part of the Story does indeed Award another Heckuva-Job -Brownie- Award to yet another of the King's Crony Buddies. We will call him the Rennaisance Man- and he istruly deserving.( I will post links and also ALL updated Stats- that have been rising steadily since Summer- and have had to be updated TWICE since July).

As the weather continues to whip at us with cold wind and snow, I am asking that the next time you see a Homeless Fellow or Lady please stop and reflect that there is a story there. And like Robert they may indeed be a Vet, a Homeless Vet discarded by this Administration , Used, Spent and Wasted: Just More Walking Wounded and Not Yet Road Kill.
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"I may be compelled to face danger,
but never fear it.
While our soldiers stand and fight,
I can stand and feed and nurse them."
Clara Barton

[Clara Barton,founder of the Red Cross, worked with Dorthea Dix to advocate on behalf of Civl War Vets, that they be provided safe care and shelter during ALL phases of Battle and War]
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<<< Stats: Atleast 200,000 Homeless Vets look for a place to sleep every night, and the stats show that there are atleast 500,000 Vets Experiencing Homelessness per year under this Current At War Administration. I read the 27 Victory page book online, and the Chapter on Sick Homeless Vets seems to be MIA. Part II of this story will have ALL the stats and Links related to Homeless Vets .Part I was just to tell one VET"s story, and make certain he wasn't just a number. So stay posted.>>>>