Okay My son saw the other post and pointed out I sound kind of snooty, like I am "ladylike" and would never smoke cigars. ( ahem , cough, hmmmm he might be kind of right). So I am putting one of his favorite stories here. And on another level I am just tired of documenting our travesty of a a"government" right now, and I am tired of monitorinng Plamegate, Katrinagate, Locked&Loaded Dick, and Dukegate, Tommyboy's woes, and Casino Jack etc etc. So I am giving myself a break....
When Son was four I was off from work and I was supposed to be cleaning the house. I decided that we could clean the Kitchen Floor with Shaving Cream. It was a hot summer day, and we were pretending it was Snow. We spread it across it the Kitchen Floor- TWO cans worth. It was Very Very messy, and we both ended up covered with it , head to toe. In the midst of this slippery sliding mess, the Doorbell rang. I fell twice trying to get to the door, but my son made it to the door. Smiling through the shaving cream. ( he looked like the little tub kid out of the MrMagoo ad).
And this is what I heard as I laid on the floor.
"Hi, I am spreading the word of God. Is the Lady of the House Here?"
( As I slid around the corner I could see what looked like a very nice lady in a dress with a purse and pamphlets, I kind of thought she might be a Mormon.)
And my son responded" Oh, Lady I am sorry, but there are no Ladies here, you can try next door. My Mommy is lying on the Kitchen floor". I could just make out the stunned look on her face as the door slammed shut.
( oh, great now it sounds like mommy is intoxicated and passed out!!!)
And he slammed the door and ran back into the Kitchen, sliding and proud of himself.
Yup. No Ladies here.
13 comments:
I'm trying to quit giggling! Your boy did good...the way me and my first roomie used to deal with solicitors consisted of him answering the door with me hiding behind it making ralphing noises while he quickly explained he couldn't talk because his "wife" was sick. As if!
My dad had a unique way of handling Mormans and J. Witnesses...seems Daddy is a preacher of sorts himself, and he'd pull out his Bible and hold forth for an hour or two 'til these poor souls could figure out a way to escape politely. Me, Mama and my little sister would peek out into the front yard and giggle about the fact he had somebody other than us to preach to for an afternoon! Oddly enough, it would be a long time before anyone else would show up to witness...
I do remember when life was simple.
My Catholic dad and Romanian Orthodox mom tell door preachers that they are Jewish... now keep in mind that they have a giant garden statue of the Virgin Mary in their front yard... and that reminds me of a great story about my big sister's daughters.
When my oldest niece was about 5 yrs old she was asked by a nosey born again neighbor if she understood what the real reason was that we celebrated Christmas. My niece pipes up that yes she knows why we celebrate Christmas, and she proceeds to tell the nosey neighbor that "We give gifts to each other b/c of the 3 men who gave gifts to that baby that was born... Mommy, what was his name?" My sister and bro-in-law were torn between ROFLTAO and turning beet-red with embarassment.
Out of the mouths of babes, tina, comes such inadvertantant truth. And pardon my spelling if it's off...between Our Lady of the Temple Beth-El and a five-year-old shutting down the holier-than-thou, I may burst out giggling at inappropriate moments for the next few days! Muchos gracias, mi amiga.
i am SO laughing!
To all for stoping by...thanks you for the laughs as well as new strategies for dealing with Solicitors....
I love it - shaving cream and all.
Beautiful. :)
that is the most adorable story ever! thx!
LOL! Very funny story.
Great story! It was a laugher for sure.
Being a lady is over-rated..look at Laura Bush..most of the time she looks like a deer in headlights with a coathanger in her mouth..and her husband..don't get me started on him.. :P
Love this. I just linked to the post and hope it gives others a good laugh too.
Keep at it. A little humor helps when there's so much medicine to go down...
Great story! I'm still laughing as I type this.
Boy, you really know how to get rid of them fast! I bet they crossed your address off their list for good.
Post a Comment