Okay, so I finally decided to blog about this....It took me a little while.
It happened on New Years Eve, during the day.Broad Daylight. And yeah, I have had some Close Calls living Downtown.
And I mostly carry money on me, so that I can have a way to deal with street people, strung out or otherwise. And yeah, it is true that I have talked my way out of Trouble a few times since being here. And that I had to walk through Heroin Alley in Nursing School and I worked ER so I feel plenty Tough.
But the thing is I am going to blame this on a Construction Project that has torn apart my street and my neighborhood for monthes, And it has cut off any normal foot traffic- it is a Giant Maze full of Cones, Barriers, Huge Diggers and Hoes and HOLES. And electricity has been cut off and poles removed so it is plenty dark most nights. And the cops are being pulled from our District- cause there are no people except Meth-Heads left at night. 60% of the businesses have closed up on my block.
So New Years I walk to the store not far from me, about 6 blocks to pick up the Dimsun Supplies and the Fondoo Fundoo for my son, but they also have a bunch of canned goods for sale. Including Canned Peaches and Baked Beans ( Family size with maple and brown sugar- Bush's). So I bought a bunch of canned stuff and knew that I was going to be carrying a heavy paper sack with the Cans, and also a my old beat up Beach Bag on my shoulder full of other goodies.
So I am walking home , Sun is setting and I have my iPod on, listening to GooGoo Dolls and also Christmas Music. ( Yeah Enigma listens to Christmas Music YeaRound....). And I feel/ hear someone come up along side me, my left side. ( The side that I had no bag....). And also a Waft of Greyhound Urinal Aroma.....
I could not hear so I took one Earbud out "WHAT?" I said as Bus drove by.
I looked at the guy, he is totally strung out and missing almost all of his teeth. He has a rumpled huge coat on, but I eyeball him- he is about the same height- maybe 15 pounds more. His Hair looked like he stuck a hand in a socket- and he had Manson eyes. Hmmm. Not good. And on one level I also worry ALOT, because in the moment I see that Look in his eye I know I have NO money and that this is NOT going to be a Talk My Way out of it. And on a deeper level I also Know I live Urban, ALONE. I have NO ONE to call....this is my Gig- ALONE. Shit. Oh SHit.
" LADY I'M SOOOOOOO HURTIN'" And he kept saying this over and over- Broken Record Stuck.
And somewhere inside of me- Something Exploded, like YOU are Hurting? , YOU don't know the FIRST thing about HURTING??!!
I tried moving 2 feet sideways- away from him. Then suddenly he lunged behind and tried to grab my shoulder bag and kind of grabbed. It also means that he had basically moved into my blindzone. But I remember watching Donahue ( we are talking A LONG time ago and how Groceries can be a weapon). I decided he was probally not on meth at that moment- just weak and strung- it was worth a try. ( And meanwhile there is this broken record of a prayer going in my head over and over "Please God, Don't let him having a fucking knife or a fucking gun"....over and over.)
So we are moving in tandem right by the Theater- and Still NO People.Kind of like really bad dancing. Where are the Godamned People , WHERE?Anyways I go for my Donahue Show Manuver Circa 19??? I swing the Bean Bag with all my might at his Tender Region.And it was amazing, like a cartoon off YouTUbe, he went down so fast, crumpled in a pile.
A Block away I could still see him there.
I was so lucky he didn't have meth on board.
I won't get THAT lucky a 3rd time.
Ever.
And yeah, the Buddhist in me feels bad about it. But not that bad.
And since he didn't reallyu get Anything....maybe it was not a Real Mugging...right?
and oh, yeah. did I mention I am moving ? yeah.....
33 comments:
oh just a footnote to the story....why didn't I drive I know some of you are asking ? cause- the Project has taken away almost ALL of the parking...so there is nowhere really to park...so sucks...
oh, and why didn't ai blog about this ? cuz I was in Denile...it is a great River....
Good for you for having the strength to fight for yourself (although you shouldn't need to)!
I worked in Oakland, Ca for a few years at the paper and worked a 3am shift, loading racks and going to closed stores.
I'm not a violent person, but my head moved everytime I got out of the truck, as if I were the little girl in the Exorcist.
It was in an area, much as you've related......and those were the hours everyone is still doing their thing.
Had some close calls, but one time in particular, a car circled the block a few times, so I foind the nearest 7/11 and called the cops.
Nothing happened, but felt it was as close as I wanted to get ; (
Hope you're able to move to a better area ; )
Well done, E4E and you kept your cool and protected yourself. That, I don't believe is a problem in any belief system. No one teaches being a victim and a good thing. I do feel badly, tho when I cause someone pain, no matter what the cause. Perhaps it was a necessary pain for him to experience.
You did good.
A few years ago I bought Mags a neat little palm sized (well, my palm anyway, Mags hands are much smaller), .40 caliber pistol that she wears on her belt under her jacket. Pennsylvania is a Right to Carry State, no felonies, no problem.
Now I know many of you are going to be turned off by this, but I have come to realize that our first line of defense is ourselves. Criminals have no respect for us or the Law and don't fear the cops. Besides, as stupid as most of them are, they're still smart enough to stalk their prey until they are alone with them. Too often, the victim ends up dead. Mags and I have simply decided we are not going to become victims without a fight.
Embracing peace does not forfeit one's right to defend oneself. I will help anyone I can, but the bottom line is, their problem is their problem and if they try to make it my problem they're gonna get more of a "problem" than they bargained for.
d.
That was some quick, clear-headed thinking, hon. I'm sure you were just delivering him some much needed Karma.
It happened 'this' New Year's eve? 12/31/06?
Anony: I am not sure Which day it was - basically that weekend....I can't remember which day I went for the goodies- Does it matter ? The point is it was the End of the Year....
Brad: thanks- at first I felt bad..like a bad buddhist- but I think I did what I needed to do....( I will never ever curse my bag of beans again...)
DUED: you are soooooo right in what you wrote...and yeah, we have to survive and be smart about it...now my son wanted me to get Mace or a Stun Gun..but we have settled on the Best Solution- TABOOO Body spray ( I should advertize for them)...anyways 6-6 pointed out that if it hits in the face and the eyes it stings like hell- so it is a perfect deterrant. And I always wear my old steel toed Boots always- walking dog or store...and I don't wear jewelery and I only carry 2 extra dollars in my pocket- although gum also works with agitated Homeless- esp juicy fruit....
I posted something for you Enigma. Enjoy it!
d.
Enigma, I'm so glad you will be leaving that neighborhood & glad you shared this tale. It sounds dangerous there! I wouldn't feel bad about the meth-head, though. Perhaps being hit in the comfort zone caused him to finally reflect on the bad way his life was going. Sometimes little things lead to major changes, so you could've even started him down that long road toward to the light. A heavy bag o'cans to the nutz might've been just what he needed on NYE...
It's a good thing you remembered that Donohue show. A girlfriend & I once took a Kung-Fu class (which was really almost like dancing, so graceful & elegant). Now we were both pretty petite & so we endured some teasing as we practiced our newfound sense of confidence. I'll never forget us walking along on either side of this big 6'6" friend who suddenly reached down his arms & put both of us into a headlock & said, well what would you do if a guy did this? He had no way of knowing we had just learned the perfect escape in class that week! So without a beat, we each slipped an arm up between his arm & our necks & swung the other arm around to connect with his jewelcase. He got a two-fisted roundhouse nubjab that knocked him flat down. Then we both looked down at him & said, do you want to see the "take something with you" follow-up? n-n-noooo, he hissed. bruce lee couldn't have done it better. ~~ D.K.
Dear Jesus! Glad to hear everything came out okay, and good on you for taking care of business. Sometimes you have to use your basic Billy Kwon and remind an a-hole "Mind Your Manners"!
I guess we all had a memorable New Year's this time around.
Wow DK that is a great story...My 6-6 is now cringing...I think I am going to take a class after I get moved...and until then I am carrying Beans for sure....
And if you got over to Deuder's place , he has a video up about Creative Solutions about dealing with Assholes....
MEL ;-)
It is so good to see you back ..YAY....I am fine...hmm, I might have to post some Almost LIVE Billy Kwon..too funny..look him up on YouTube and there he is...
I am so glad to see you posting ...what a good thing to know you are safe and sound at Home...Arkanas is sooooo lucky to have you....
Enigma: Happy New Year! WTG! At first I read this and took it as an omen for 2007. A bad omen. Then I thought about it and decided it was a good omen for 2007. So thankful you're okay!
And where the hell was Homeland Security when they were needed? Probably spying on some 80 year old granny. Thank God your all right enigma.
God Bless.
Dada: Thanks..I think it made me work harder to move...so that is a good thing...
AnonP: Hmm yeah, HLS...right...I know the cops and the Homeland Security Nazis showed up Enforce for the January 12 Protests downtown- yeah, a bunch of Peace Protestors warrant Heavy Duty Prescence...
But I am fine...But you gotta wonder when this country is going to admit there is a huge Meth problem plaguing this country....
Yeah, you know that neighborhood of yours should have more cops. And everyone should have health care. And kids should go to college for free. But then we can't afford any of that because we're pounding dollars and lives down a hole in the Iraqi desert.
You're a brave nurse, but your government has drifted toward a policy of everyone for himself
What are you more afraid of? Osama, or that meth head. Cancer, or some terrorist attack. Iran, or a generation of ignorant young people growing up to be voters?
I report, you decide.
Geeez Enigma, I haven't been here for any length of time lately and didn't read this until this early AM while wandering around. I am so sorry you hadto go through it.
I wish Joe Nighhawk was around. He would have taken care of you. I pray your trauna is over from this.
Peace and Namaste my friend.
Yeh, newsguy makes some good points. Depressing but good. And it's getting increasingly more dangerous to leave the light, warmth and camaraderie of amiable lonely souls and risk walking home from Hopper's Nighthawks Cafe. (Sorry, but I digress. I was just over on the Favorites Tour which was telling my I like that painting so much.)
um- i don't know what to say. that scared the crap out of me. i am glad that you are ok. i know it's only a few blocks- but can you drive? i hate to give up to- but can you move? wow.
hugs for you my friend
you give me the courage to write about my new years eve story -- it involved a meth-head also but i happened to be dating him -- last year
we drove to vegas -- room and shows planned and paid for -- we had a blast up until 11pm new years eve -- just walked out onto the strip after a cirque du soleil show and he says he has to pee -- none of the hotels allow you in unless you are a guest and our hotel was a few blocks away
so he stepped down a side street to use a bush
he was taking a long time -- so i went down there and sure enough he was smoking a long glass pipe (which i later found out to be a meth pipe - ok, so i don't know drugs and thought i didn't know people who did drugs)
i blew up - started yelling and screaming at him right then and there...i knew nothing about his 'habit' - i know stupid me
so i left - he caught up to me - and i walked down to our hotel and packed...he wouldn't let me leave - you know girlfriend, what people on meth are like..
i spent a terrified nite until 8am when i could finally get him to leave...
i'm not gonna go into all that happened to me that evening..but i cried almost the entire 6 hour drive home and i survived and am here to talk about it...
AZ, I'm totally stunned, just knocked over. You are such a kind-hearted person. I'm so glad you got out of there OK. Don't beat yourself up over not recognizing the symptoms, these users are very adept at disguise, at least in the early stages.
BTW, I never heard of having to be a guest at a Vegas hotel to use their bathrooms. They are all open to the public right there in the casino as you walk in the door. You just have to walk through all that noise & smoke to find 'em. I always ask a security guard to point the quickest way. I think your "friend" just didn't want to do his thing in a public RR (yes there are security cams in all casino RR's & he probably knew this), so he needed that dark alley.
OK, I'm still reeling from your revelation. So sorry you had to endure a night alone with him before you could escape. So glad you could tell the tale. You are strong. ~~ D.K.
thanks DK -- it happens that the night we were there was new years eve and the strip was closed off (no cars) and there were literally thousands of people -- hords and crowds walking up and down the strip - drinking and singing and well being very obnoxious...and the casinos had security at each and every door turning people away unless they could produce a room key...
it's like this for new years only...i was told
he's called me twice since we got back and i bitch him out both times -- then started to cry and hung up...
i'm getting stronger - day by day...but so much thinks for your kind words
AZ Godess: I have to talk with you first here...OMG Sweetie...please know that I would give you such a big hug and we could talk about this....my nieghborhood is infested with this- and it is dealt right on the street- and all kinds show up to the Comfort Inn to buy it- and they all look different- and plenty look like normal people., I walk by and always stun who is lined up in the car waiting..There is no way you could have known- or known what to do...part of this wretched sickness ....I don't know how you got through what you got through- but I believe women are strong and resourceful when they need to be, I also believe people are protected by angels...I am so sorry that you went through this...If you were stuck in a hotel room with him, I am not so sure what you could do except try to get away..and you did...but how awful for you and to find out while you are away...Please know I am so sorry....please write me offline if you need to , if you want to talk more...enigma4ever@earthlink.net....I am so sorry that you went through this ....But I am glad that now you can finally talk about what happened...you are here with friends....
thanks - hugs back!! i'll drop you a line this evening - work has gotten crazy and rain coming down now in buckets...driving on these desert streets not fun in the rain
the worst part besides the physical stuff -- was him making me smoke that crap...he took a drag of the pipe and then held my head and blew it into my mouth...i did not inhale -- it tasted so nasty -- i must have brushed my teeth a million times that day
again - your courage helped me get this out -- i'm so thankful for you my friend
The Goddess: You are so strong and your courage is partly what protected you through this experience. And it does help to talk about it....It is funny I still have not really talked about this, only written about it....I wrote it first to a Blog Friend ,becuase I couldn't say it out loud...but writing helped - immensely....so know that you can talk about it here and that you can write it out and we will listen and help....that is what we all do for each other....Tonight at the Enigma Cafe I am lighting incense and candles ( okay I do every friday night- my poor neighbors will tell you it smells like a church)....anyways...I send you continued strength and hope...and light......
I have to say when I was writing this post, it was funny how suddenly it didn't even seem that bad- mostly just like a bad dream...and how even when it happened I remembered thinking it through....like counting when I walked home..Like if I could walk real fucking fast and count to 20 and he still wasn't up that I would be Okay....And sure enough I counted to 20 and then I looked back and he was still down.....and I remembered thinking wow- I am alot stronger than I thought.....
So know this AZ- you are indeed very strong and very brave....Survival is about strength and also holding onto what is most important....Your Soul...and you are still the same wonderful person...
Okay there were some other folks at the counter and I have some answers:
DK: Thanks as ever for being here and for being so wise....you always have insight that soothes...
BETMO: Sorry- didn't mean to scare you...but we all go through stuff..and I felt like if I could just write about it I would feel better...get it out of my system..still can't really talk out loud about it...Driving is tricky- it is a giant construction site- litterally blocks and blocks of it- and there is no parking by the little store -so there is no point- the construction project took away all of the parking around here- it is a giant disorganized fucking mess...I wish I could...believe me...and yes I am moving ASAP...( to a better safer place)
DADA: thanks for being here..and we all deal with different issues where we are, it is so nice to have this little Cafe to come to and it is my retreat, my respite away from all of the rest....hmm, a Favorites Tour- I will have to see.....
SPADO: Thanks...I will be okay...I already am really...having friends like this here and all around definently helps...
ANON: thanks for your support and kindness too...well you would think an EV activist/quaker /buddhist would warrent better surveillance wouldn't you???- thanks- you
made me laugh....
Newsguy: You made me laugh, cheer, curse and cry all in one fell swoop - you truly are a great journalist- you asked all the Perfect Questions...wow...like it is good fellow- Truth hurts , don't it ? I am one tough nurse I know that....and yes, our government is definently Broken on all levels....fucking fractured.
Thank you and many many hugs to all....you helped me keep my head and sanity....and maybe get through this a little taller...and even hopeful..because you reminded me that there is still Humanity out there....You all are good people....truly...
6:10pm..well after some weird Blogger trouble- it looks like things are back to normal- phew...
Hey E, I wanted to ask AZ if she feels she is in any danger? I don't know much about tweakers, they exist at the very furthest periphery of my landscape. But we do hear of so much crime associated with it, just like you experienced, Enigma. So, AZ, do your friends & family all know what this guy looks like, what kind of car he drives, etc, so they will recognize him & be on the lookout? If you haven't already, you may need to file a police report. It's just crazy, but remember you're among friends here. We're thinking of you & perhaps a bit worried about you.
BTW, if I had ever thought of wading through the vegas crowds for NYE, I certainly wouldn't now that I know about the bathroom situation. ~~ D.K.
AZ.... I guess the main thing is I have thought about you all day...and of thought , make sure that your friends or atleast one good friend there knows about this whole thing...and what happened to you...and that you are able to talk out loud about it....and I agree with DK, does the guy know where you live and work- take some precautions...and you say there was physical stuff...so I guess I also would say make sure that you have help resources there- Woman Groups or Services ?
The thing about meth is that it distorts everything- it makes people's persceptions dangerous. It seriously does damage the parts of the brain where there is emotional processing.....
It sounds like you have talked to him, you can't do that- you need to cut him off- he is Dangerous- because he always has some of the drug on board- and you don't ever know how much- or where in the cycle he is...waiting for a fix or coming down?
Please please be so careful....take care...we know you are sweet and kind and courageous....just take care of you....
AZ.... I guess the main thing is I have thought about you all day...and of thought , make sure that your friends or atleast one good friend there knows about this whole thing...and what happened to you...and that you are able to talk out loud about it....and I agree with DK, does the guy know where you live and work- take some precautions...and you say there was physical stuff...so I guess I also would say make sure that you have help resources there- Woman Groups or Services ?
The thing about meth is that it distorts everything- it makes people's persceptions dangerous. It seriously does damage the parts of the brain where there is emotional processing.....
It sounds like you have talked to him, you can't do that- you need to cut him off- he is Dangerous- because he always has some of the drug on board- and you don't ever know how much- or where in the cycle he is...waiting for a fix or coming down?
Please please be so careful....take care...we know you are sweet and kind and courageous....just take care of you....
Read post above good Cafe Folks and you will learn that I did indeed find a new home for my son and myself and I am so relieved to know that I have a way out of this Meth Infested neighborhood...Yahoo....
Enigma is now packing.....thank you for all of your good wishes and good energy...
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