This is not one of my prouder posts, but IT needs to be Blogged, it is not really a ladylike moment for the Enigma. So here it goes.
Okay...so I am not a Perfect Mother. I actually think there is No Such Thing.
I think we as Moms, as Women do out best to care for the Children of this World.
And it requires Patience, and Insight, and mostly alot of Heart.
So I say this and now I have to tell you about my Saturday Eve Trip to Wendy's.
My son and I have Rituals, they are very Important.The Saturday Night Chili and Frosty are key to the Whole Week.
So I am in line in the Drive Through, and there is a Battered Purple Intrepid in front of me,inside I can see a Mom driving and three kids of different ages bouncing around and dancing and singing with the radio. I can hear Usher wafting my way.
One little girl turns and gives me a big gaptoothed smile for a fleeting moment. Now admittedly they are not being cooperative, they are excited,hungry, and grooving to Usher.
I hear the Mother say LOUDLY with an edge," If you all don't quiet down, Somebody gonna get It".
The three stop wiggling as much...and heads start ducking below window level.
I am thinking that this is indeed a Woman of Her Word. Poor Kids.
The radio grows softer, as she pulls up to the Service Window to retrieve The Food.
She is now yelling again, " I done you told to shut up!!! What part didn't you get!!?"
And I hear a soft whimpering question mumbled from the back seat.
And then out of Nowhere I see her big beefy arm swing back- pretty much without warning and get flung towards the backseat. I had already noted that all three kids had sklunked down in their seats. But she caught Someone, she hit Flesh. SMACK.
I was disgusted, and horrified. And the nurse part of me noted how No One fought back or even said OUCH. This is a Mom that Hits. Shit.
So I was sitting there FUMING. Thinking. This Mom gets AWAY with This...ALOT.
The Next thing I know I did indeed get out of my car and walk down to the Now Silent Car sitting by the Service Window. As I approached I heard The Mother" I want My damn Fries,What is taking so long??"
I waited until the Service Girl talked to her. Then I approached. And I Confess I did not use my nice let's talk voice.
" Look as a MOM I saw WHAT You just did, and it is NOT Okay at all.You shouldn't hit your kids EVER. And Kids if your mom hits you , Like That - you go to an Adult and get help. This IS WRONG.Got IT?"
She turned out to look quite a bit bigger and beefier up close stuffed in the Intrepid, yet she was still sitting in the car. She Started to stutter and spurt through an answer that came out something like" WHAT THE????"
And I stopped her. I said "Look you can't argue with what WE ALL SAW you do. And I am asking you to go get some help, and be better to your kids. But know this I got your license plate and I would be more than happy to call the Right People to STOP You from Hitting. Got It? Good."
And while she was still sputtering and cussing I walked back to my car.
The guy behind me in line, in a big ol battered Ford Pickup I guess saw the whole thing, he gave me a BIG Thumbs up as I got in the car.By the time I got to my car, she had pulled out. I am not even sure she got her godamned Fries.
So I pull up to the Service Window, still can't believe I did Something That Impulsive. But still knowing that I had to do it.
The Window Girl says " Wow..you either really brave or real dumb, but I am kinda glad that you did That." And the three other workers behind her were nodding in the same stunned way.
" And yeah, well as a mom there are THINGS YOU DO NOT DO...AND HITTING KIDS IS ONE OF THEM".
So here's the Thing I guess, I think sometime Violence requires someone like Me to get out of my godamned car and comfort zone and do the Right Thing...Let's just hope it's not part of my Saturday Night Mom Ritual.
10 comments:
You are a brave woman, and you did what a real woman does. Puts her fear aside to do what is right. Bless you.
boy, you just said a mouthful, and in the process, took on one of the hardest subjects we all encounter in our daily lives ... when to intervene. When does discipline cross over into abuse? Sometimes you don't even see it, just hear it going on. Cops face the same thing everyday in domestic violence situations. And the worst part is when you do intervene & the victims band together against YOU, not the abuser. But HITTING is wrong, no matter what age. I'm glad you were there to at least point out options to those kids. You couldn't just turn away. You did the right thing. Brava! D.K.
Jenny: Thanks...not so sure about the Brave...wish I were braver...but Mark Twain said that "Courage is about acting in spite of Fear". And to be honest when I got up to the car and took in the Size of her I was a bit awestruck- like ya'know is this REALLY a good move???but I figured the kids were smaller and had to face Her and her Anger everyday- and then I wasn't so worried- firgured they needed some help to fight back...Bless you too for realizing what I did...and why.
DK: Intervention is about helping people get help and also be safe...What also stunned me was that she didn't even care if she was in public or people were watching...so made me think Hmm , wonder How BAD is it at home...nope could not have turned away, I do hope the kids took the advice to heart. ( and DK I bet my bottem dollar you would ahve done the same).
The kids may remember it. Let's hope.
you got guts, enigma...as if a year's worth of your blog didn't drive home that point...happy blogging anniversary...
Wow woman! How brave! You deserve big kudos for that one.
You go girl! We need more people like you in this world.
hey, sometimes you just react. I have done it and it scared the shit out of me. LIke when a guy was beating the bejeezuz out of his dog on the street once. you just can't watch..I know the feeling.
Kudos e..I heart you for it :)
WOW. You did just the right thing. The sort of thing I might have done, or might not have done and later wished I had done and kicked myself for not doing it.
Lordy, I am so proud of you.
You did something that mom will NEVER forget. And the kids will never forget either. You brought a ray of knowledge into their world that will make them think, and will make them realize that the hitting was wrong.
Maybe the mom will think twice next time. Or three times. And maybe the kids will understand, no matter what happens, that they don't deserve to be hit.
Corporal punishment, from my own upbringing, had it's place (I am a knothead from a long line of knotheads, and I've joked with Mama she might have needed to swat my butt more often than she did!), but the disturbing part of this incident was the fact that Mom was clearly out of control of her temper, both with her own kids and those trying to get her food to her. Mama might have spanked me from time to time, but I always knew who to run to when I had a problem, and she never made me fear her.
I kind of feel odd chiming in on this issue, as I've never been a biological mom myself, so I may not be qualified to have an opinion. I just know I've pitched in before being "Unca Melanie" from time to time with my cousins' kids, and I do know that parenting is the hardest job a person will ever love.
Having said all that, I'd have sure loved to be a fly on the wall of the Wendy's that night! You go, girl...we may not be able to fix all the wrongs in the world, but we can sure speak up in our own spheres. You keep on trucking.
To Everyone who came by...thank you for all your comments...I was still shaking and bothered by this hours later...worried about the kids too...But we all do what we have to do to make our little end of the world better...thank you again...
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