End of Unplanned Mini Sabattical.....And a Thank You

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*{Click the title" Leonard Cohen "Hallelujah"}*

It started out so simple...a "Server " Problem, that I could not fix......and then add to the Technical Mess, Other Issues.

I once worked at the Beach for the Summer, and at the end of the Summer I had the chance after closing and thanks to a friend, to do the Boardwalk rides One More Time. The sun was setting, and I rode the Roller Coaster alone....It creaked and cracked and swayed and the gulls complained and screeched to each other as they looked for fries.....but I was alone.It was more lonely than scary.

In the Midst of Server Issue, I was still riding the Coaster, my own Roller Coaster, trying to muddle on through, and I had had plans that a good friend was coming to visit. I had been getting ready, making my nest ready. It was Someone I had not seen in a long time. Someone that I wanted to Thank. Someone that makes me laugh. Someone that has always been good to me and my son.Someone that knows my path and has remained a friend, even from afar. But the month crept on and he didn't come.And he called and said he wasn't coming, and I said I Understood and that it was okay...but in some ways ....it wasn't. And it left me sad, sadder than I thought I would be.

And that news came after I realized that I had lost Someone Dear, Someone that I had not seen in years....and I had not expected to be gone...and it left me sad....Now the thing is if you have Too Much Sadness hit when you are under Stress, the Stress of trying to Make Ends Meet, and trying to stay Optimistic and continue the Search for the Regular Job....it becomes frustating....overwhleming....and a very Lonely Long Coaster Ride.

( And add to this, that yes, I am saddened by the continuing demise of this Country, and The State that it is in...and on the World Front- I am worried about the state of Pakistan, and that Justice and Writers and Activists are being jailed, Mr.Bush has been so busy making friends with Musharref, and warmongering at Iran and ignoring his pigepen mess of Iraq, that he has again missed the Much Bigger Picture, meanwhile the spineless pathetic Dems are still trying to assess where the hell they are on "torture".)

But you all left wonderful messeges and you brought Hope and left it neatly wrapped on the doorstep...All I ask is that you let me write my Eulogy to my Uncle Chuck this week, because he mattered more than I ever got to say, and I never got to thank him.....

But I am grateful for your Patience and for your kind thoughts...

*{As a Mea Culpa I have brought the one song that I end up alot when I am struggling....This is the Leonard Cohen Version, other times I like the Rufus Wainright Version]*