Wednesday, June 11, 2008

About Getting "Stimulated"......( no, not what you think)


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*{ This Post is also Crossposted over at "Sirens Chronicles", which has a beautiful new template, head over and enjoy so many well written thoughtful posts, it is edited by Betmo and Dusty......}*

Okay,So everybody is waiting for their Stimulus Checks.And yet some people have their checks, and yes some people have spent their money already.The funny thing is that most people I know are spending the Stimulus check on unpaid Bills, or other even groceries. I don't really know anyone spending it on Something Extravagant.

So here I sit wishing, hoping and planning. So some of my neighbors have gotten their checks, and I keep getting Car Flyers in the mail, so I know that Somewhere there is a List that must say that I am on a Rebate List. So I went to the IRS website and looked up my Date. If you go to their website it posts the Dates of the Mailings which are organized by Social Security Number's last two digits. So in May I looked up my number and my date and I was ready. Or Was I ?

So this week, when the Midwest went Sweltering, and I realized that no a BIG fan was not going to sooth my soul, gee that Stimulus Check would sure be Something to have. I could go buy another Fan, a BIGGER Fan, or even a mini- AC unit.When it is 98 degrees you do start to crave those kinds of Luxuries, especially when you have a stack of enticing flyers sitting on the table. So I rechecked my "date" with Destiny, and sure enough it has been a good 10 days since it was DUE, so I am thinking I should Investigate the MISSING Check ( aka MY Money).

So I get prepared for this Adventure in Phone Service, and reaching out to Connect with the IRS.Who for the past 3 years have provided nothing but good times. I sit down with a pitcher of Iced Tea, Nail Polish ( 3 shades), the Check Book that needs balancing,and a dog brush to brush Little Yella Dog. I know that this will take forever and a day...and I am terrible at Being On Hold.

So I call a total of SIX different Numbers to find out the RIGHT Number to talk to a HUMAN being and ask Questions. Now I think I should share that with you, as it works for now. It is 800-829-1954. I was on hold for quite an eternity, over 47 minutes. They have horrible Hold Music, I had the pleasure of listening to the NUTCRACKER , specifically "The Dance of the Sugar Plum Ferries" three times. I was amused by this, it struck me that someone at the Federal Government has a huge sense of humor. So while I held , I painted my Nails, Bright Purple with Black Stripes and some glitter. Then I brushed the tired hot dog, and then I balanced the Checkbook, and read the great article about RFK in Vanity Fair. By now it is 99 degrees, and I have run out of things to do. So I did what I do when I am bored, I watched a Mexican Soap Opera and made up the translation. ( My poor teenage son thinks I speak Spanish- I don't....I am just very good at reading Bad Dramas).

Finally an actual Human Being comes to the line. We will call him MrPickles, because that is very close to what his name was, and he was very polite, and nice, like someone that is accustomed to having his head chewed off on the hour. He sounded like Paul Giamani.So we sorted through the muck and mire and minutia of trying to track the allusive money. You will need your tax returns and know when you sent it etc. So he put me back on hold ( oh joy), and went and checked about my Missing Check.

So he comes back to the phone after 7 minutes and tells me that he has good news and bad news. He has located my Information, and I am getting a refund. ( and no he could not tell me how much- which I thought was a little odd). And that it was "processed" on May 26th, BUT......( and my hot little heart sank- WHY oh WHY is there ALWAYS a "BUT" ? ) So I said "But?" "Well, it was Processed on May 26th, but you won't get it for a while, 4-6 weeks from that date, so I would say the earliest you will get it, is the Middle of July. "

I sighed deeply...and asked what Anyone would ask " Can I ask WHY it takes So long ? I mean I did file on time and send my money in on time...and the website is a bit deceptive and actually gives DATES of Mailings, Can you Explain ?"

Mr.Pickles nicely explained that Apparently the IRS is Overwhelmed and Never expected SO MANY people to file for the Rebate, even Disabled People and Elderly People and People on Social Security Filed for It. So I said ,"So TOO MANY people need Money ? Does the Federal Government realize So Many People are hurting? "

Mr.Pickles, ( clearing throat...) ,"Well, They do now."

( So I am sitting there wondering are they having to print more money in the basement to meet the Demand of these Rebates ? How out of touch are they that they didn't think we would all file for some extra money ????)

Then we discuss my Messed Up Name Status ...I seperated from my husband in 2003 ( yes the same month as the Damn War), and they my divorce date ( yes, the same month as Katrina)....Now I mention this because MY DATES have posed a HUGE Timing Problem for the Federal Government. They are still having Huge Problems trying to figure out WHO I am. Yes, I have waited an Eternity for a Proper New Social Security Card. But Mr .Pickles informs me, reassures me that I have plenty of company, as MANY Katrina Folks are STILL Waiting for THOSE NEW Cards too....Well that makes me feel so much better....So I say to Mr.Pickles..

" You have been very nice, very helpful..BUT do you ever get the feeling that Maybe , just maybe, OUR Government is , well, BROKEN? "

I heard a gulp on the other end of the line from Mr.Pickles.

"Yeah...Everyday. "
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"Money" by Pink Floyd.....of course.

24 comments:

Christopher said...

It's all out of control.

The toys from Communist China are painted with lead paint, the pet food from Canada is laced with poison and the tomatoes have salmonella.

Sometimes I think the only way to right the ship is to launch a revolution, tear everything down and begin new. But who would lead?

Dr. Know said...

Great post, E4E. But sorry about the delay in funds you and many others so desparately need.

"Yeah, everyday." A big Amen to that one.

"The Dance of the Sugar Plum Ferries." Now I'm intrigued. I wasn't aware that we needed ferries to transport our sugar plums to market. ;-)

Larry said...

Bush was boasting last week of how those called stimulus checks have boosted the economy and kept it from a long term recession.

That seems strange when noone has gotten them yet.

Sewmouse said...

According to what I read, if you did the "direct deposit" thing, then the soc. sec. number dates are correct - and being as I'm a VERY LOW number, and already got mine, this scans.

However, if you did not direct deposit, then you have to wait for a paper check, and that is what is taking them forever, and they aren't explaining, perhaps they ran out of stamps. (/snark)

Christopher - you reminded me of something with that tomato comment. I ordered some "Nachos Bellgrande" at Taco Hell yesterday. Some time back they stopped putting chives on them, because of e-coli - now no tomatoes because of salmonella...

At this rate, by the time Obama takes office, Nachos Bell"grande" will have nothing but dry chips!

Ingrid said...

It would've been a hilarious post if it weren't for the fact that it involves something very serious; not only your due money but the gov't situation. I have to laud you for being nice to Mr. Pickles. I have found that IRS people tend to be very nice and I think that if they know they have a 'live nice one' on the phone, they're all too happy to help. Sorry to hear you have no airconditioning..yikes! We had a record 102 yesterday and it was a good thing I did not know, I might've given in and just expired on the spot. Reminds me of a saudi story (think of me as the Ma in the Golden Girls, except with me it's not 'picture this, Sicily 1924, but picture this, saudi arabia early 90s..) ANYhoo..
There is a pecking order in Saudi. It goes like this; Saudis, top spot (and only there so can you blame them really??), Americans, Canadians Brits Europeans in that order, following.. then somewhere below the Asians; Indians, Pakistani, Phillipinos/-as, and somehow.. the poor Bangladeshi was always occupying the bottom spot. There were a lot of Bangladeshi street sweepers and I'm not talking about the truck..I'm talking broom in hand sweep sweep! Well, the 'story goes' that if it ever would hit 50C/122F, then all the workers by law would have to stop working. Well, even in Saudi one can experience heatwaves but oddly enough (note the sarcasm,I have to write that in ehem), it would always get to 120.2F and NEVER 122. Although most people with their own thermometer thingies knew better..
so E, it's all relative, just thank the Heavens you're not a Bangladeshi street sweeper!

Ingrid

Weaseldog said...

Well, I owe the IRS, so I'm not getting one.

I wonder if they'll discount my debt by the value of the rebate?

DivaJood said...

Hell, when I got my $300 economic stimulus check (yep, mine was reduced) it went into an overdrawn account so I only saw about $1.75 of it.

Gryphen said...

Well I literally just got my stimulus check, took it to the bank, and then wrote a check for the $300.00 to my daughter.

Personally I refuse to take money from Bush, but I have no problem giving it to my struggling 21 year old.
I am also working to give her a better future and a responsive government.

Go Obama!

enigma4ever said...

Gryphen:::
You are such a good dad....good for you...I don't look at it as taking moeny from Bush- I look at it as OUR money...( which I think it is ).....

DIVA:::

I am so sorry...1.75..ouch....and it was reduced...not right....

Weaseldog::
A neighbor asked me the same thing...good question- is it reduced??? ( you should call MrPickles and ask)...

Ingrid:::
Thank you for making me keep it ALL in perspective...yes....I am sure in the pecking order of things....who knows where an old nurse falls eh? Funny thing- one of my first jobs when I was 15 I worked an entire summer as a Street sweeper at very nice out door market....

thepoetryman said...

It's like a cricket stimulating a rhino...not much point in it.

enigma4ever said...

Poetryman::
well once again you make me laugh and nod...thank you ;-)

Sewmouse:::
we should start making Dry Chip Reciepes...unreal isn't it monthes ago it was Lettece and chili..( my son was joking why is it only the Mexican goodies that always get contaminated?-its a valid question...)BTW I am seriously going through tomato withdrawl....

Larry:::
yeah, well Bush is a moron...he also say we are in a "downturn" because "recession" is a word that he can not and will not say.....idiot that he is ( he also did not know gas was approaching 4 $......) Next he will be telling us hte moon si made of green cheese....

DrKnow:::
yeah...little sugar plum ferries are down in the WH basement making our Money....

Christopher::::
I hear you...I have no idea how we fix this or even where to start.....but I could make some lists.....and tear down some walls at this point...it will take a massive overhaul....and geez, I don;t even have money for broken leady toys now...

Robert Rouse said...

We spent our stimulus check on a new scooter. Since we bought it, we only fill the tank in our minivan 1/3 of the times we used to. I take the scooter to the store, I take Dustin to all of his appointments, and to local Democratic gatherings and local peace rallies. This has really stimulated our bank account a lot more than George thought and we're not stimulating the oil companies as much as we used to.

enigma4ever said...

Good for you Robert...and you are not stimulating the Oil people or China - that is wonderful...and you are probally giving Dustin real adventures with the scooter....

( we only drive when absolutely neccessary ie work...and I walk to the store...for all groceries...)

Robert Rouse said...

Oh, and I forgot to mention that the scooter is American made!

enigma4ever said...

Good Job....excellent robert...

Thomas said...

Dear Mr. Pickles, it's too bad that our rebates have to come by way of money borrowed from CHINA
TomDem55

enigma4ever said...

thomas::
thank you ....well, as long as we are not buying China Goods...that helps break the cycle a little...right??maybe...

sigh...

oh well...

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

Pickles is a cypher, not to mention a douche-bag. The "Peter Principle" at work.

enigma4ever said...

WilL
Hey there....really the IRS guy was nice ( believe me- I have dealt with ones that were soooo unpleasent)...and he actually was honest..so I can't really badmouth him...he is just doing his job...and it is hard to work for the Federal gov..I felt sorry for him....I mean he has no pride in where he works...it was just kind of sad...

Larry said...

Most people will spend their tax checks on gas which will go back to Exxon, which in part will filter to Bush and Cheney.

Thats who benefits from the supposed stimulus checks.

enigma4ever said...

Larry::
Sadly I think you might be right ...I know most people are trying to find creative ways to use it...and not feed the Bushco Machine..

enigma4ever said...

POLL news:::
MSNBC asked WHO will win in November?

54% to 30% , Obama to Mcsame

Gallup poll:
USA, 47 to 41
Obama to Mcsame

Christopher said...

In an effort to push back against the lies, innuendo and filth, being pushed by the radical right and some disenfranchised Hillary supporters, the Obama campaign has launched a new website to tackle the misinformation head on.

I've added it to my blogroll.

http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/fightthesmearshome/

enigma4ever said...

Chris:::
thanks...is there a Link from the Obama Website ? or should I set up a seperate blogroll site ? ( btw I am so glad that he is doing this...smart...very..)