Thursday, March 05, 2009

About Rhianna.....and Domestic Violence....


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have been following this story....it bothers me...and not just the Battered Photo of Rhianna. When the story of violence first broke, I looked for photos of the couple. This young couple was held up as an example to so many young people. Where I live and work this couple was inspiring, because of their success, as a couple and individually.But when I started looking at the photos of them at events and together I was struck that Brown looks angry in so many of the photos, and yes Rhianna looks so young and in love. But looking at the photos, in not one did I see Brown looking doting or smitten. Look at his eyes....there is no love there.

This week Felony charges were filed against Brown, serious charges about the violence...and yet the same time we learn that these criminal charges have been filed, we also learn that Diddy has offered the two refuge to patch up their relationship. I pray that is not true. Reports have also come out that Rhianna did tell police that the violence had been escalating. Judging from what has come out and was revealed about the Grammy Night Incident, it is fortunate that someone called the Police, I truly think he thought that No One was watching...and that he would have killed her. He definitely was trying to destroy her and ruin her permanently, it was no accident what he did to her face.

I have worked ER, there is one thing that is interesting about most Abusers, they usually target areas of the body that are hidden with clothes, the fact that he went after her head and face is very concerning.Learning that the incidents have been escalating is worrisome, did no one notice that there was trouble ? Why would she keep silent about the abuse ? Is being a celebrity a problem for her,that she must stay silent and hide the problem ? Or worse, was it expected that she be silent, and it is merely an accepted part of a celebrity relationship to be smacked around a bit....

I hope that Someone intervenes in this situation and sits Rhianna down and sets her straight that she is a beautiful young woman and there is no reason for her to stay with a Violent Man that does not love her....and in the end might easily kill her...Oprah are you listening ? Millions of young women need this lesson....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Brown has not entered a plea yet....even though he was in court today.TMZ post about it linked to the title.

7 comments:

Tango daddy said...

Domestic violence is an issue you are obviously passionate about. as per your admonition to look at his eyes I did and I see what you saw. ANGER. please stay on this as I would rather you opinion than Larry King.He sells air time you are passionate for the right reasons!

Hairball said...

You are so right about his eyes. *shudders*

Jeanne said...

Chris Brown being charged is showing Rihanna that domestic violence will not be tolerated. the pictures of her face is testimony of his brutality towards her. P Diddy maybe should've suggested that Brown goes and gets some serious anger management counselling. Rihanna could've died, she needs to wake up and smell the coffee or the roses. Accepting him back in her life so quickly might proved to be her biggest mistake,she is sending the wrong message to young women all over the world.Who gave him the right to beat her,maybe someone should pummell him to a pulp and then ask him how it feels to be brutalized by someone else.He needs to go to jail. Jail is made for celebrities too. He needs to be taught a lesson and made an example of.I hope that he was sincere when he said that he was sorry and saddened by the incident. I trust that at the end of the day Rihanna will think before she leaps otherwise Chris Brown will get off scot-free.

D.K. Raed said...

and yet this morning, I saw that she wants the relationship to work, wants to get back together. That was her lawyer talking to his lawyer. Some other talking head said they were BOTH physically fighting each other ... like it's EVER OK to hit & punch a woman or child, even if "provoked". This whole situation is like watching a carwreck in slow motion. And you are so right about his eyes!

null said...

Domestic violence- dating violence, intimate partner violence and child/elder abuse are issues that so often stay hidden in our society- even today. When they are exposed, as in the Chris Brown case, the first inclination for those on the outside seems so often to be to minimize the abuse and to excuse the perpetrator. I believe that we all need to all question this temptation. I believe it is possible to expose, face and condemn violent acts on the part of intimate partners toward one another or family members without condemning the person. If we are not actively saying “Family violence is wrong”, it is as if we are saying “Yes it’s ok to assault family members/intimate partners” The fact is that assaulting others is morally wrong and it is also a crime according to state statute. It doesn’t matter if the parties are known to each other or not. It doesn’t matter if one party feels that the other has instigated the situation. Bottom line, violence is wrong. Period. End of story. As in any crime, when an act of domestic violence happens, the circle of those affected by that act is considerably wider than the perpetrator or the victim might think. Family members and children are affected. Neighbors are affected. Police officers and members of the judiciary are affected. Sometimes, medical examiners and funeral home employees are affected. I am grateful that the story is being covered in the media and hope that it will show us the need to talk openly about family violence in our homes and in the community- especially with our kids as they begin to date. We need to educate ourselves about the negative effects of family violence on victims- both direct and indirect- as well as on the entire community. We need to look for ways we can help- even if it is only by speaking up and saying that violence is never excusable.
When it’s not OK to confront and talk openly about something, it allows that situation to continue. I believe that fortunately the reverse is also true. If each of us decides that we will go beyond our comfort zone and speak up and seek help regarding this issue- whether we are a perpetrator, a victim, a witness, a neighbor, a teacher, a friend, a concerned citizen etc. we can make a difference. No one deserves to be abused and there are people who can help.
Anyone call contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline- on the web- http://www.ndvh.org/ or by phone at
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.

tom said...

I have a twin sister (no we don't look alike) she is a foot shorter and has (er well had) blonde hair, when we were kids, (my parents were of the WW2/Depression generation) I was always taught that me (the guy) was to NEVER NEVER NEVER hit a woman, both my parents stressed this, my mom stressed it the most, I was however given license to protect my self (when we were kids) when my sister took advantage of this holy writ. But it is a lession I took to heart, and have carried it with me to this day. The corrolary is of course don't hit ANYBODY except in self defense, the thing of this is that violence begets violence. I do sometimes wonder about my folks and that rule, they were uneducated blue collar folk from the Bronx brought up during the depression...I guess human values can be fostered in the unlikeliest places...

enigma4ever said...

Tom:::
your parents educated well...on what matters and how to take care of each other and treat people....not enough people are taught these lessons and I do worry about are young people today being taught these lessons.....think of what a good person those lessons made you...and how those lessons have rippled to those around you.....

Null:::
thanks for your thoughts...and yes, you are so right- that the lessons of this should be shared, that all of us talk and explore what the issues of violence are.....partner violence or family violence issues are so serious and in many ways hidden....and even if a couple is celebrity it must be explore, wealthy and celebrity couples and families also have issues of violence ......the more we talk about this- the more we learn....and hopefully educate our young.....

DK:::
his eyes are scary- there is anger seething there....and sadly there were about 30 such photos that I found in 10 minutes on line- I found NONE with him looking at her with love....really sad, that she can not see it, supposedly she is going back with him, after Pdiddy arranged that they spent time at his place in Florida...I worry about this young girl- and it is her first "real" love...she does not understand that this is not right....

Jeanne:::
Supposedly the photo that we all saw was just a few hours after the incident, but that the followup photos from the next day are horrendous.....and that the inside of the car was covered with blood and her dress was gathered for evidence- the charges were followed by the police and DA, and in a way - that means that the assualt charges are not giving Brianna a choice to file on her own, she has said that she will testify if she is called....

From everything I have read...she is lucky she is alive, and that it did happen in public...if they were home....I wonder what would have happened to her....

hairball::::
I too shudder.....there is no mistaking the look in his eyes...

Tango:::
thank you for valuing my discussion here more than Larry King....what a nice thing to say....I don't think Larry totally grasps how serious it is....I do hope that Oprah and DrPhil will lead some discussions on this...it is an important issue...and from the young girls that I work with, I realize that not all of them realize how dangerous the situation is or what is even acceptable in a relationship....really sad...and worrisome...many young people will learn from this....I hope...