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"If a child is to keep his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in." Rachel Carson
My son is a manchild....all 6-6 of him.....at times a man and other times a child in his sense of wonder and exploration. I spend alot of time, worrying, have I taught him well ? Have I shared enough ? Is he Resourceful ? Compassionate ? Caring ? Doe he have a work ethic ? It now is especially important as we face Hard Times.....Have I taught him about Dignity, Hope ? time will tell.....
Sorry I have been spread too thin this week....new articles and thoughts below....
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Crosby, Still, Nash, & Young......" Teach Your Children Well"....1977
"As adults, we must ask more of our children than they know how to ask of themselves. What can we do to foster their open-hearted hopefulness, engage their need to collaborate, be an incentive to utilize their natural competency and compassion...show them ways they can connect, reach out, weave themselves into the web of relationships that is called community." Dawna Markova
4 comments:
Mine is 35 years old and I still worry...so it never goes away. You just do the best you know how and the rest is up to them. And if you do your best and impart your knowledge and your values they will be fine. Because that's all we have. Our values and our knowledge. In other words what is in our hearts and our brain...we can't teach what we have in our gut..that gut feeling we get in the middle of the night.. or in the middle of the day... those things come as time goes on .. you know that. So, give him what is in your heart.. give him what is in your brain.. and let him develope the rest on his own.. steer him by the stars and guide his steps. The rest is up to him.
thanks Annette...
I try hard to not let the stress show...of the financial situation etc....and we talk about it....but I just worry it will get in the way of his hopes, his dreams....and I am just sad too, all the things that I didn't want him to have in his "childhood"....War..and a Depression...( I marched against war in 1991 - the gulf war....pregnant with him....praying that there would be peace in his childhood...)
but thanks....
I find as my youngest, now 20, finds his way, I can have conversations with him and float ideas or things to consider and he is open minded & will genuinely consider the ideas. If I flat out tell him what he should do , it is usually rejected.
I find he tends to not think things all the way through.
My youngest has too much of a ethic of wanting to do *everything* and spreading himself too thin,
We've had to encourage him to find the balance.
But teens at this age do tend to skirt the edge.
Some really need specific instructions.
I always insisted my kids help with the household community because that is how community works. I figured I was not doing them any favors by me doing all the work while they slack. But often what seemed really obvious to me, like an overflowing sink w dishes & a dishwasher right next to it....
I would have to point out. Deal with dishes & overflowing hamper.
When they help, it gives me a feeling of being supported & had more positive energy to do stuff with them too. I guess I needed to prod them to pitch in. I don't want perfection just pitch in & do their share.
Also encouraging them to get work, save for education are all things that help them too.
Not that there is much in the way of jobs.... but even any work dishwashing, janitor, yard care. etc helps them appreciate the value of money, and how to save & manage.
As for the overall picture of values, and compassion, I think that is a lifelong learning process. I'm sure you gave him a solid foundation, and have exposed him to enlightened perspectives every step of the way.
For my kids, they seem to have needed me to point out how they can be helpful, and sometimes require that they do so, but in the end, they seem to have learned that is required for harmonious living.
As long as you have open communication, balance, and continue to support & be honest, that is the best you can do.
We all continue to learn.
oh fran....as always...you are the scribe of wisdom....I know it will be okay....
all that you say is true...
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