Holding Time....

Taking a moment to really see the world....the Leaves changing...the crisp autumn sky...the blues...the wispy clouds...Yesterday part of my day was spent caring for a man dying...there are always certain patients that have a way of tugging at your heart....at stopping time..he is one such patient....he told me " I need to have someone to pray with....to eat lunch...hold my hand....give me a hug....and maybe look at the Leaves Change Color one more time...one last time "....As I walked him to the bus stop...we stopped and looked at the leaves, some changing color, some already on the ground being swept up the street in a musical breeze...and he sighed and smiled...together we stood watching them in their glory...the Trees standing tall...with their last colors of the year.....Nursing is not always about the rushing about, or medicating people...it's the little things...the smallest most meaningful moments held quietly and carefully....

October's Challenges....

October was spent in a quiet struggle, unseen by most. I was trying to get into school. I started applying to schools in June and by July had applied to a BSN/MSN Nursing program and applied for financial aid. I have been working Temp jobs all year, so I needed to apply for financial aid. I actually got accepted to the Nursing program, but then the Aid part became a battle zone. It was a process that left me exhausted yet ever more determined. And then finally I did get into the program with the Aid I needed,at the very last moment. It was a breath taking bumpy ride that I am sure was supposed to teach me. So now I have debt, educational debt, but I know that I can not reach goals without that burden, so I must make peace with it. It will help me give 6-6 a better future and more choices. And maybe it will validate me as a Nurse....maybe....

Street Wisdom and Grilled Coconuts....

#Brooklyn " IT BE WHAT IT IS!! " ....I say "hey ! "to the fellow from Islands who is grilling Coconuts every Friday on the Street... as I walk to the Train and this is what he hollers to me as I walk..yup he hollers wisdom to the strange nurse in the white scrubs....Coconuts being grilled on the street -the smell is amazing....so every Friday I walk to the train...( I take the bus in the morn...and train home...) yes it is still a Temp job...and it could end tomorrow...I have to make peace with how things are...I am working with HIV/AIDS patients again and yes some Vets and Homeless too....and teaching about Diseases and condoms...and helping people know their bodies and their diseases ..trying to empower them...

Orchids at the Corner....

#Brooklyn #nyc My favorite corner market now has Orchids...( which I know the kitties would happily welcome and destroy in about ten minutes)...

The Twin Tower Lights...

Dear NYC....I love you...I am so sorry you lost the beautiful Twin Towers...George Bush used to say that 3000 Americans died that day, but the real Truth is the best part of NYC is that there are people from all over the world ....and that day people died from many different countries and not all of them were American...and yes even Muslims died that day...and rarely does anyone mention that....I don't think this day is about Liberty or Patriotism, even though for years that was laid upon Americans and New Yorkers...it is a sad day to remember what was Lost....so much Trust...so many civil liberties....and it led to a decade of war and horrible war crimes...I think it should remind us who we are and that when good lives are lost, there are no bombs or prison camps that can bring them back...and that there are times when Americans should stand up for Peace and still be thought of as Patriotic....New Yorkers I love you and your fearless courage, your hope, your tenacity and your strength....When I see the Blue Lights in the Sky I know that there are many Angels giving you more strength....( Photo taken at 9PM from my roof Brooklyn...)

Sunday life.....

Beautiful day here...#NYC....tall buildings standing tall in the distance....small Hopper Clouds drifting by and a gentle breeze...Finished painting the Living Room ..WHITE...looks so much better and watching tennis....#USopen #Serena another #Roof photo....

Bird in the Hand....

Sometimes when you least expect it...you get to hold magic in your hand...the smallest treasure can make your heart swell...this little fella needed some warmth and a bit of help the other morning at the bus stop....and then he flew off proudly showing us his new skills....the three of us shared his joy and felt proud as he took his first flight.....Have a good week..look for the unexpected...and treasure even the smallest joys....

Ping Pong at Bryant Park...

#NYC #ByrantPark #PingPong #Wonder So people play pingpong at the table in BryantPark, I confess some are better than others...but this guy yesterday was amazing, some kind of PRO...wicked spin and speed, the balls just kept whizzing by, anyone who walked by was spellbound, transfixed and watching...then people even started being the "Ballboys" going and retrieving balls for the game. ( You can see the one BallBoy fellow in the background). Personally I think adding ballboys to the game makes it so much better....( my dream is that I talk my neighbors into this game and that we set up a table on the roof...but that is my dream....) Look how he holds the paddle...and his intensity...

Mariachi on the Subway....

#NYC #RaineyThursday ....#MariachiOnTheSubway ....made the day so much better..I was rushing to an appointment..soaked ...a full Mariachi band arrived ( and they were good I may say)...I jokingly asked them to play Feliz Navidad...they laughed...but they played it...very nice guys....certainly cheered up a rainey day....

Empire State Building in all her Glory.....

******************************** And as the sun set Miss Empire State Building was looking so beautiful...Pink and Proud and so tall.....against the blue night sky.....

Donald The Doorman

The Good the Bad and the Ugly of NYC....so I have shared so many amazing photos of life here.....but seriously the BUGS here are ugly...VERY Ugly...this THING greeted me in the front hall when I got home from work....I have named him Donald the Doorman....for no reason.....but I hope he leaves soon....

Hendrix on the Subway....

#NYC #Brooklyn Friday night went to catch the train.....usually it has been this truly horrible Accordian player ( his repertoire includes three very offkey polka songs...) but last night it was this young girl playing Hendrix on the platform....and she was indeed very talented....this little girl was dancing away totally enthralled...It was the best part of the week watching these two Make Music....

Urban Oasis....

So a couple of blocks away....this lovely older Chinese man has spent all summer creating this garden oasis....it's so beautiful.....and now the Morning Glories are taking over and so so lush...I have to sneak back during the day and admire the Glories as they wake up.....I am so grateful to have this creation in this hood and so close by....it's so soothing....and such a blessing....and I tell him everytime I see him and he just nods at the nutty redhead who always says thank you....

NYC Sunsets are amazing....

Good Night folks...sipping iced tea on the roof tonight..watching the sunset...take care out there....

All Nurses Have Stories....

...................................... Okay...so for 3 weeks I have been working a Temp job that I very much hope will last........it is with HIV and AIDS ......I took care of my first AIDS patient in 1982 in Baltimore....I was a nursing student working weekends as a Nursing Assistant on an Oncology floor....and he was a young airlines steward whose young body was ravaged so quickly and he was so alone in isolation with sad blue eyes ...he kept saying over and over "Why ? Why? " That one question haunted me...even while working PEDS in New England a few years later I never forgot him...and then by late 80's I was in Seattle helping set up First AIDS Hospice in the Country in an old battered house..that was my favorite job in many ways.....and I was also working ER making sure to get people tested....and then even teaching HIV classes and Caregiver classes...and training other people to do testings.....getting kicked out of a highschool class teaching because I brought bananas and cucumbers and condoms to really teach them.....sigh.....and battling with the Seattle PD WHY a Needle Exchange would help protect people's health ...and why giving the Working Girls condoms mattered....and picking up our little table and moving it down the block from the Pike Street market and cursing those cops...and then setting up Hospice and nursing care and infusion therapy at home for patients and friends too... for many many more through the nineties ....and on and on....this one disease has really in so many ways transformed me as a Nurse....but also as a person...it has horrified me..haunted me...it has made me read and research at all hours.....it has made me get up at 5am to make sure people got their care.....NYC still all of these years later has the highest HIV and AIDS rates in the country...and on and on the story goes....All Nurses have stories...

Thinking Out Loud on The Roof....

*********************************** I go to the Roof when I need to think....when I need to get grounded...clear my head..and sometimes meditate..when it is quiet....Sometimes seagulls are up there as well...I see the Lights in the other apartments...it reminds me that I am not alone, there are so many others here struggling to get by and to stay strong...there are other families...there are elderly getting bathed for bed..there newly arrived immigrant families with small babies....there are young couples trying to make their way...I can see them in the windows...and hear the sounds and smell food cooking....at all hours there is the smell of Curry or Cardamon and hot coffee and often burnt bagels....We all need a Think Spot....but we also all need reminders that we are not alone in our struggles....and that Life Goes On...That Tomorrow will come, with it's own set of mysteries and gifts......Good Night Friends...take care and have a good week....

Urban Gardens.....

..................................... ‪#‎Sundrenched‬....‪#‎UrbanGardens‬ I love it when you turn a corner and there are flowers taller than expected reaching for the sky oblivious to cars, trucks, exhaust and all the city noise and havoc....I love how they smell after the rains....warm and earthy....and slightly sweet...

Wisdom of Trees....

..................... #‎nyc‬ ‪#‎Brooklyn‬ ‪#‎Trees‬ ‪#‎Benches‬ I don't miss my garden so much anymore...there are so many wonderful green heavenly moments here to embrace and soak in...and benches..there is nothing I treasure more than benches under the trees.....

Keep Looking Up......

***************************************************" The wings of hope carry us, soaring high above the driving winds of life. "~~ Ana Jacob........Sometimes we need to keep looking up...knowing that there is just a bit of Hope in the smallest of moments...a Blue Sky....sun....a warm breeze...you can live in the City and still see Seagulls flying above...I believe they carry a bit of Hope where ever they go....I saw these amazing buildings walking to catch the train...there they were all lined up standing so shiny....perserved...with gulls flying above....they looked like old friends together for a very long time....Good Night dear friends...remember to look up tomorrow....take care...

The Wedding.....

.............................................. "The ‪#‎Wedding‬ " .....so I was rushing to the store to get TP...one of those Rush moments....and I came around the corner to be stopped in my tracks by a beautiful moment.....Greek Church....people lined up out front , waiting expectantly on the steps to the Church....Out the doors burst the lovely couple and yellow rose petals cascading into the air like snow....I stood on my corner with other expectant watchers....a elderly woman leaning on her walker....a young jewish girl watching with longing in her eyes ....and a woman in a Sari holding her little boy close tenderly stroking his head as she watched...and next to me a woman from Islands lightly humming. I turned to the Island woman and she and I both were crying a bit..." They have their whole lives in front of them, such a wonderful thing, ya know" I nodded...." It all -a-starts-now" she said.