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I have thought alot this summer, about Change. I also just returned in June after having much time to Think, Reflect and make some decisions.Even when I returned I did not know what it would be like to come back, and even if there would be anybody waiting on the other side of that Door Of Return....I remain grateful everyday that there were people there , waiting and kind and compassionate. But I also knew that I could not blog the same way, that I needed to take a Gentler path, one of the Soul.I also wanted to give Something Back...a piece of my heart....and Blog about Matters of the Heart.
When I came back June 20th, after much soul searching, I decided that I could not always write with angst, and with fervor. I could not write even good rants, or even good investigative pieces. I was tired of trying to get the MSM do their jobs, and I was tired of trying to get our Elected to do their jobs. I was tired of writing and calling.I felt like I was yelling down an empty well. And I was tired of waiting for America to come Home. And I still feel like I spend of time standing on the shore looking out to Sea,and worrying that the Shipwreck is there and I can do nothing to help....except let people know that I am here....still on shore . Waiting.
And the Enigma Cafe changed, instead of being a place with fevered irreverent midnight discussions about this government and the mess we live in, I unconsciously, yet maybe mindfully decided that maybe I just wanted to serve Comfort and Cozy,I was seeking warmth, and I thought maybe others were also...and Peace and Quiet...Soul Food...Because at this point That is all I can offer....Tea and Sympathy ( or is more like empathy?)...and a smidge of Hope. So I will keep playing soft music ( Click the title) and putting New Art on the Walls and Messeges of Hope...Because I am worried about our Spirit and Our Souls, and that we are being bullied and hammered too much every day...So I hope that is Enough...
So I hope that you don't mind if I do That ...for awhile..it is ALL I can do for now...
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I learned tonight that PeaceChick and Divajood are leaving their blogs...PeaceChick even shut hers down...and John Good went and saved the Spot...I am heartbroken that these two wonderful women won't be here everyday...and I promise not to take any of you for granted...I love all of you and the door is always open...Always....
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The title is linked to Thomas Newman. He is so musically gifted, from Erin Brockavich to 6ft Under, to American Beauty.It is a photoscape to his music. Soothing.
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[later in the week I am posting my photo...I want you to know that I am REAL...and that I am Here...but for today it is another painting Miranda the Tempest by john William Waterhouse painted 1916 during another war.]
29 comments:
Hey, Enigma, don't you go getting the blues too. What's going on in the USA? Is the CIA poisoning blogger's food or water or what?
I came close to closing down as well, did so for a week. It was a bad week in my life. I can't stop. There is too much to do. Too many people are relying upon us.
Perhaps those who closed down will be back soon, refreshed, ready to put their shoulders to the wheel, ready to stop the Dark Forces from destroying our world, our freedom!
Hang in there. We need you. We all need each other!
Right now a lot of bloggers are tired of fighting and getting no relief from those they put into power.
Comments are down all over the blogosphere, and several are quitting their blogs.
Summer is nearly over the same mess will be here throughout the months and years to come.
Sometimes something different is good, is refreshing and is needed to recharge.
DANIEL: no my friend,,,I am in for the long haul...I already took a long breake/haitus last spring- almost threw it all in...but there are things I care deeply about...I still do read alot and watch alot of cspan, I just can't write about it everyday...I hope that makes sense....it is also really hard living in a police state and it takes a fair amount of perserverance....
Larry: I hope you understand..about needing to blog at a certain pace..and why I blog the way I do...I think you do...it actualy means I care more and enough that I want to be here in the end...when this mess in DC halts...and it will one day...I will still be here...blogging it..and I mean that in a good way.
i appreciate you enigma4ever, and the work you have done and are doing. that you care deeply is evident in the resonance your soul brings to this blog. May the spheres continue their song of consciousness that comes through your voice as clearly as it does.
Namaste
Oh, btw, Gonzo has announced his resignation...
Well, it's nice to know that these recurring feelings, "to blog, or not to blog" are the same many of us are feeling. For me, they rise and fall like the tides with the same frequency, but are becoming more intense. (It's probably just global warming.)
Another beautifully written post, enigma, straight from the heart. And so expressive of what so many of us are apparently feeling.
But now we have the excitement of seeing the person behind the counter, behind the blog, who serves up those wonderful teas, coffees, and sundry cakes and pastries. What an exciting week this is going to be!
Balloflight: you indeed have given me the first smile of the day...I walked the dog- cameback and voila- Gonzo has quit you annnounced so quietly...thank you....I needed that bit of cheer....
Dada: whelp...I am indeed going to throw some extra Tabasco on your eggs friend....looks like we got an interesting week shaping up...
Man this week is shaping up to be a great week! Any bloggers who are leaving at this stage are just going to miss out on being a part of the "last throes" of the Bush administration.
And seeing Gonzo finally taking the damn hint and packing his crap and hitting the road is extremely gratifying. We may not have actually pushed him through that door but we were all helping to hold it open for him.
So, for those of you who are still tilting at windmills, don't give up. I have it on good authority that the windmills are getting ready to give up the fight.
And of course with our lovely Enigma here to provide a cool place to sit, have a cold drink, and get our wind back for the next round of the battle, how can we fail?
enigma
i have to laugh if you can believe that in regard to what you know. i am sorry about peacechick and divajood but you are doing the right thing. keep on keeping on!
we are in this for the long haul and can only continue to make a difference and be there for those that need us.
you are a good one you know that. nothing will stop the chief idiot but nothing will stop all of us either from speaking the truth, trying to hold these lying idiots accountable, and to get the ship called "our America" off the rocks Bush has her on before he finishes the sinking.
keep doing what you are, it is most appreciated and helpful.
Gryphen....ahhhhh, How could I not provide a cool place for such good souls....and hmm, about Gonzo - yes, let's hold that door open wide...and let's hope it hits him hard on his derriere on the way out and gee yes a part of me does indeed hope that Senatore Leahy has a parting gift ( like something in a shiny bracelet order of things???) And yes, we don't know which swathy varmint will be next in the position....but see I was the one that said Rove and Gonzo would never leave this Titanical Regime at the SAME time....whelp, color me suprised...and happy to be so.....Have a drink all..this might be an interesting September...the King's Vacation is indeed Bangup.....so far...
Patriot: this is indeed an interesting Vacation...seems the King is having his own storm...that is for sure...I will keep speaking Truth- you know that...but I also will keep serving a bit of hope and letting this be a Refuge for all of us....
Thank you all for understanding...
ahh what a shame - those two can't leave but alias they already have - sigh...
thanks for the peaceful music today...HUGS! peace my friend
The Bush kiss of death SCORECARD:
You're doing a heck've a job, George Tenet --- GONER
You'r doing a heck've job, Brownie --- GONER
You're doing a heck've job, Karl --- GONER
You're doing a heck've job, Speedy --- GONER
Who will be next ?
Let's hope the nation hears these words from the President.
You're doing a heck've job, DICK !
I'm doing a heck've a job !
Goners ?
Peace,
Cosmic
Enigma, how could we not love hearing the words from your heart? I come here for truth & you always deliver. Truth, tea and empathy, on your front porch or cafe, big or small truths, the truth always matters. Well ... truth and the toasted sesame bagels. They are excellent.
I read Gryphen yesterday predicting Gonzo would be gone-so today. Sure enough, first thing this AM, I see he is on his way to the ranch. As soon as Karl, Scotty, Gonzo, Cheney, et al, are down there gorging on Bush's famous colon-blow-out-jimbeam-BBQ, we should just erect prison walls & barbed-wire around them. Keep 'em locked up so they can do the Dance of Red Death together forever, as long as they are incommunicado behind those walls. Only Barney gets free passage out.
See what a little loss of The Architect and The Torture Toad can do for one's spirits? I'm stocking bottles of fine kentucky bourbon on enigma's tea shelf right now, so we can all add a generous splash in celebration. Slainte! ~~ D.K.
i am grateful that you are here for tea and empathy. it is needed just as the fiery rhetoric was a few years ago. the fire is burning down into embers but we need the warmth of human kindness and contact. i am glad you are here in any capacity. :)
Betmo: I am glad that you are here too...I think all of us have burned bright for a long time...and yes, it is time for some quiet poking of the embers...so we keep going , and if I serve of a little warmth and hope...and as long as we all get each other through.....we gotta ways to go...and we have to outlast these evil bastards....hugs to you and glad you are here too...
DK: I do indeed have a Bottle of Kentucky's finest and yes I am Ready...I think Fall might indeed be interesting...VERY...I mean Bush has NONE of his "team" at his side ....no turd and no fredo...geez how will he even put his shoes on??? I do love the idea of them placed in a compound to BBQ...that would be fine, and you know they would tie one on and Barney could make his Great Escape...
COSMIC: ahhhhh...too funny...and yeah, WHO will he nominate...okay so 6-6 and I have a list....
(1) Ted 911 Olson
(2) Fred Thompson ( with all that Law&Order charm)
(3) Harry Meiers ( and her puppyeyed luv) ( groan)
(4) Rudy ?
(5) just to screw with us- Fitz....nahhhh would never happen....and he would never take the job...
AZ: many hugs...and namaste to you too....and yup...I am in shock I never ever thought I would see both shitheads gone at the SAME time ????
Now one parting thought I did see Leahy ( who I love)...and he said at his presser: " I have worked for SIX administrations, I have never seen the JD corrupted in such a way. "....wow CORRUPTED.... that is a pretty strong word for someone like Leahy.....wow...
cosmic
Really, think about all the idiots who have taken the hit, sometimes after 30 year stellar careers to keep the underhanded chief appearing clean but we know better.
I have erased about two other things that I thought I wanted to say and I am in the process of erasing this one as well. I cannot see how we can continue to Blog without the help and support of one another.
DivaJood was a site that I loved to visit and I shall miss her funny remarks and right now I have a smile on my face just thinking about her Friday talks with her granddaughter.
I guess until this President is gone on his way to Texas, a lot of us will still be here to express our discontent for his sorry leadership of this country.
oh please don't erase Lets talk...
we have to support each other, that is for certain...everyone is welcome here...always...and yes, until his sorry ass is gone we have to take care of each other.....laugh, curse and understand what we all are facing...
WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS..BECAUSE WE ARE STRONGER THAN HIM....AND HIS CRONIES..( NO TEA AND SYMPATHY FOR THEM- THAT IS FOR SURE)
Bush out today whining about how ppooooor gonzo has been "dragged through the mud"....Omg....I had to shake my head...
hang in there Let's Talk....
enigma...
Remember this...
If it seems to good to be true it probably is.
As for the drug through the mud remark, you notice that he read it off a piece of paper and even then he had trouble reading it.
The shit gonna hit the fan very soon and we better all prepare for it.
I'm glad that there is somewhere I can go for some coffee, tea or relaxation and some comforting words of wisdom
Take care my sweet rose and remember that we are all here for you as you are here for us.
God Bless you enigma.
I have to hope this war ends before long. I made a vow not to cut my hair until it was over, so I'll keep plugging away at the blog. Like I told AZ Goddess over at her place, if I ever stop, you'll know it's a federal cover-up and that I'm being held in a secret prison on Nobodikinfindustan.
You're doing a heck've job, Speedy
Hey Cosmic Messenger, don't forget Harriet, and Ari, and Scotty, and Tony. ;-)
Just saying.
OMG......we forgot Asscroft and also Rummy....lordy- how did we foget Rummy ????
( and oh Chrissy Whitman...who said NYC was safe for all of those poor workers....)
I can empathize with those who just up and quit. I often think about shutting down my blog.
I am scrambling like lots of folks to pay the mortgage and the grocery bills and the blog pays no bills. And it takes a certain amount of time. But I keep on doing it because I am a news junkie and it is an outlet for me. I am no longer in the news biz and this is a way for me to keep my writing ax in shape. And a way for me to do my small part in opposition to the thugs in power.
I have no illusions. I am sure my posts have zero impact on what really happens. I admit, it is kind of pathetic sitting here ranting online with maybe a hundred readers a week. I am being painfully honest here. But I guess I have to do it party for my own sanity.
And instead of shutting down, I am at the point where I might post maybe just once or twice a week. Just to keep it going on life support. I have a dozen other things I need to do for my family. So the blog is way down on the priority list.
But this does not mean that I have become apathetic about the state of the country and the future of the country. After all, I have a son who will inherit this country.
Why do I write all this? Because I guess that lots of other bloggers may have some of the same issues. I just wanted people to know they are not out there alone. We are torn in our loyalties and the demands of limited amounts of time. And our first responsibility is to our families and our homes.
Which is something of what I read in this latest post by enigma.
partly. I meant partly. Not party
I completely understand this. There comes a point where it is too draining to be angry. Sometimes just putting out a gentle, restful refuge is what people need most.
Peace,
~Chani
http://thailandgal.blogspot.com
Isn't it nice to know there are people that you meet here that your life is the better for? sIN face-to-face relationships it is hard to find that. I am glad to know you will be here for a while... I am just getting to know you and your writing.
Be well.
T
enigma just wanted you to know I got your last comment to me as I knew you would be interested but busy as I am about to be. Adios for now Amigas!
enigma
You are too funny! Any of the ones you named would be good choices. They are all proven liars especially Meirs.
You know, it was really funny what two crows sad. It was Gonzoish and I couldn't have said it better myself. Love a laugh.
You are too funny suggesting I write cartoons or something and take care if my wrist. I am and I am relaxing, people have to realize this is beyond their control. Discuss it but do not let it influence or affect you. We can only secure our minds and bodies as best we can when we are called on in the future.
I have to laugh! Writing about Vick bothered me is it does about everything I write about because I hate liars. It bothers me even more now because he is saying he blamed no one while he blamed and lied to everyone he could. Now that he is caught and it is costing him millions he all of a sudden found God like the rest of them.
Who is this God they all "find" that seems to be living behind all their lies.
Anyway it is my pleasure to tell you how I did this to my wrist. I knew it was only a matter of time before I fell down these stairs.The upstairs bathromm is at the head as is th tv/ computer room and the bedroom is just past it so I am right at the stairs no matter where I go.
I was going to the little boys room in the middle of the night and fell head first down the stairs landing on my face. I broke my two main wrist bones amongst other things and dislocated my wrist. When 911 came I guess I did the stupid guy thing and tried to take them on. Must have been because I knocked myself out but no big deal. My mind is fine and my wrist is mending.
Thanks for the concern you naggy nurse you!
E4e, I remember how as the 1960s drew to a close, activist after activist dropped out. I remember the angst of missing friends with whom I had shared the struggle. I remember the frustration of wondering why, no matter what I did, it wasn't quite enough. Maybe those memories are helping me to be more patient this time.
Hang in there! No matter how dark it seems right now, the dawn is coming!
Enigma, what a great post. You know, I read a lot of the political blogs, and almost all of them (except TomCat's) sound very angry. Crazy angry. They even use BIG typeface, as if they're shouting. What angst you guys must be feeling in your country right now. And we feel it for you. All you can do is look after yourselves, and when the time comes, everyone must get out and vote. Everyone. That's what folks have to concentrate on now. Getting everyone out to vote.
In the meantime, I think you should kick back, relax on your porch with your candles and your wicker furniture, and we will come to visit. Just be sure to have some of those delicious chocolate chip cookies for us. heh, heh
These comments in the main have a defeatist tone to them. We can't afford to let that happen otherwise Bushco has won and we are a lost people.
We, the ordinary people, like those involved in the French Revolution, can and will make a difference. We are many - they are few. We just need to get some folks moving, get some protests underway, show our strength.
Blogging is where we talk it over. The time for action is coming very, very soon. Take heart, dear friends. We shall overcome!
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